If You Only Knew
by The Black Rose16
Summary: Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to jugglle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Something has to give. SLASH SPOILERS
1. Chapter 1 - A Normal Day

Title: If You Only Knew 1/?  
Author: theblackrose16  
Beta: elsa_kallan

Summary: Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gauis, Morgause  
Genre: slash | Semi-Cannon  
Warnings: language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg  
Rating: NC–17  
Word Count: 2, 181

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~XOX~

Chapter One

The day started out normal. Well, at least relatively normal for him because... normal?

Ha!

The mere idea of anything being normal around him was ludicrous. He had secrets. So many secrets that his secrets had begun to have secrets. And these were not your small, everyday run of the mill secrets. These were _BIG_ secrets. As in I-will-be-executed-or-thrown-on-the-pyre-faster-than-I-can- say-I'm-a-warlock secrets.

Merlin had had magic all of his life. He couldn't even remember a time he hadn't been able to do magic. Added to that, he was now also a Dragonlord due to his father's death. It was still a sore point for him, to have come so close to having a father only to lose him. Merlin wasn't even sure what all was entailed in being a Dragonlord. He had no idea as to the first thing he could do with the magic that came with being a Dragonlord. It was something that he had to figure out on his own, mostly by trial and error which was so going.

The one secret that really got to him though was that he was completely and utterly in love with Arthur Bloody Pendragon.

Now the first might not have been a bad thing except for the fact that anything magical or associated with magic in Camelot was immediately destroyed upon discovery. Merlin had to be so careful so as not to get caught, and he stayed silent about his love for the blonde, fearing that should the object of his affections know how he felt, he would be sent away permanently.

It was shortly after Merlin had brought Arthur his breakfast that he first felt something strange was going on. Merlin quickly glanced up towards the table where Arthur was eating to find that Arthur was staring at right him. This was not unusual in itself. Arthur sometimes watched him working, occasionally pointing out a missed spot or wrinkle. However, this stare was different. Arthur was not watching Merlin make his bed but was in fact watching Merlin himself.

"Is anything wrong, Arthur?"

Arthur blinked at Merlin, broken out of his thoughts by the question.

"No. Nothing is the matter," then seeming to remember himself, he pointed to the bed Merlin was making, "You missed a wrinkle, Merlin"

Merlin muttered under his breath even as he smoothed out the last wrinkle on the corner of Arthur's bed. He had to smile though. Arthur could be such a prat sometimes - no, scratch that. Arthur was always a prat and a royal one at that. It would appear that Merlin had just grown quite used to him and his attitude.

"Come along, Merlin," Arthur commanded as he stood and moved to walk out the door.

His manservant glanced up from the task he had just completed and called out, "Wait, Arthur." Merlin quickly hurried after him before he could open the door.

"What is it this time?" Came the exasperated sigh as the Crown Prince turned around to face him.

Merlin stopped directly in front of Arthur and reached up to smooth down Arthur's hair.

"Can't have you going out with your hair looking like a bird's nest, can we Sire?" Merlin commented while smoothing the last few strands of Arthur's golden hair, a grin tugging at the edge of his lips.

Merlin glanced up at Arthur and stopped. There was that look again. Arthur was looking down at him with amusement, exasperation and something else. Something Merlin didn't get a chance to examine as Arthur stepped back, cleared his throat and spoke surprisingly gently.

"We had better be going now. My father is expecting me for the council meeting today and if I'm late he will surely blame you and send you to the stocks."

The _again_ was silently added. For some unknown reason, Merlin blushed.

"Yes, of course," Merlin immediately replied and followed behind Arthur to the throne room.

~XOX~

Throughout the meeting, Arthur kept giving Merlin the same strange looks from earlier. He was subtle about it, and answered when attention was drawn to him, but he was still watching Merlin.

_What in the name of Camelot is going on in Arthur's mind? Why is he looking at me like that?_

The meeting itself was boring. Lord Godwin and Lord Steele could never agree on anything and today was no different. It seemed like half the morning was taken up by their arguing back and forth with the occasional comment thrown in from someone else. It was all so Merlin allowed his thoughts to wander all the while trying to look like he was paying attention.

Mentally he went over the chores that he needed to still complete. He also needed to stop by Gaius at some point to collect the potions that he had to deliver to the various nobles residing in Camelot presently. His thoughts wandered further and the dark haired young man considered his mother. He had to remember to write to her again soon. A couple of knights were going in the direction of Ealdor in three days time. Usually, he passed his letters to whichever knights or servants that he knew were going that way. They in turn delivered it to the innkeeper in the border town just before Ealdor. Harrison then passed the letter on to his mother. It was a bit of a hassle and took a while but it was just about the only way to keep in regular contact with his mother without using his magic.

Merlin was startled out of his thoughts when King Uther called the meeting to a close. Everybody rose and began to file from the room, some with rather relieved looks upon their faces. A few minutes later, Arthur was once again in front of Merlin.

"Come along, Merlin. I'm going to go and train the knights."

With that, he walked off down the corridor but not before he once again gave Merlin another quick, strange look. Running to catch up with Arthur, Merlin asked him the question that had been plaguing his mind all morning.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that? Have I done something wrong?"

He mentally ran through everything that he had done in the last couple of days and came up empty handed. For once he'd managed to stay out of trouble for a while, which was quite a feat.

"No, Merlin. You have done nothing wrong."

"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?" Merlin asked, completely confused by now. His forehead scrunched up and he bit his lower lip as he thought about what could be bothering Arthur.

"Like what, Merlin?" Arthur asked stopping just before the training grounds to look at his manservant.

"Like that," Merlin exclaimed, pointing at Arthur's face, his finger a mere inch from the Crown Prince's face.

"Honestly, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Arthur turned on his heel and strode to the training grounds. Stopping and glancing over his shoulder. He called out, "You coming or are you going to stand there all day?"

Merlin's breath caught in his throat at the picture Arthur made. Dressed in chain mail and with the red Pendragon insignia on his vest, the sun shining on his golden hair and a teasing smile gracing his face. Merlin's heart skipped a beat and then he pulled himself together, shoving such thoughts deep down and took off running once more after Arthur.

They made their way to the training grounds in silence but it was a companionable, comfortable silence. Not one of those awkward, I-wish-I-was-anywhere-else silences.

The knights were already standing on the training fields, working their way through various warming up exercise that Arthur had drilled into them from day one. Merlin helped Arthur gather his weapons and don the appropriate protective gear before retreating to the sidelines to observe.

He would never admit it but watching Arthur train was one of his favourite pastimes.

An hour into the practice, Merlin disappeared to the kitchens for a short while. He quickly returned with water, some bread and a piece of cheese for when Arthur would take a break to give the knights a moment to catch their collective breaths. After two years, the raven haired young man liked to think that he knew Arthur well enough by now to be able to anticipate something like this.

Once Arthur had downed the water and taken a few bites of the bread and cheese, he gave Merlin a tiny smile of thanks before gathering his men again.

Like usual the training was intense but Arthur was a fair leader. Merlin could already see the improvement in some of the newer knights that had arrived a few months ago.

As the training session was coming to an end, another servant approached Merlin.

"Merlin, the King requires a word with Prince Arthur," Samuel informed him quietly.

Merlin nodded, "Of course. I'll see that he's there shortly."

Sam smiled in thanks before turning and disappearing back into the castle. Merlin looked back at the field in time to see the knights disbanding and Arthur striding towards him. His armour was glittering with the sun's reflection, his sword held loosely in his hand.

"Merlin," Arthur greeted him cheerfully.

The young warlock had to suppress the urge to sigh. He knew what the blonde was going to say before he even opened his mouth.

"My armour is going to needed polishing and my sword sharpened," the Crown Prince almost gleefully informed him.

Rolling his eyes, Merlin merely helped Arthur shed his armour. With quick, nimble fingers he pulled off Arthur's gauntlets as he spoke. "The King would like a word with you."

"Right," Arthur nodded distractedly. "I'm sure you can find something to keep yourself busy and out of trouble while I'm speaking with my father."

Merlin gasped, "I don't get into that much trouble."

Arthur's eyebrow rose in response to Merlin's outrageous protest. Shaking his head, he gently cuffed Merlin on the back of the head and then went in search of his father.

The young warlock dropped Arthur's armour off in the room off of the armoury where he would polish it later. Next he went to retrieve Arthur's clean laundry. Melanie and Andrea were both in the washroom and greeted Merlin with cheerful smiles. Over the last two years he'd become friends with a number of the servants that he saw on a regular basis.

"Merlin, how are you today?"

"I'm good, Melanie. How is Jacob?"

Melanie tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear as she answered Merlin's query. "He's growing bigger every day. I think that soon enough he will be as tall as my husband."

"Is Matthew recovering well? He hasn't gotten worse?" Melanie was a good woman and she loved her husband very much. Matthew had had very bad chest pains recently and a bit of a wet cough that Gaius had prescribed a tonic for.

"He's much better. I wanted to thank you again Merlin for asking Gaius for help. I don't know what I would have done if Matthew didn't recover."

"You're a good man, Merlin" Andrea spoke up.

Merlin blushed, the colour working its way across his face, up his ears and down his neck. It wasn't often that he received such praise from anyone other than Gaius. Then again nobody besides Gaius knew what all he did.

The two women laughed at Merlin's uncomfortable fidgeting. Andrea handed Merlin a basket while chuckling under her breath.

"Here you go, Prince Arthur's clean laundry."

Grateful, Merlin took the basket from her. "Thanks for helping with it."

Andrea waved a hand dismissively. "It's no problem. You do more than your own share of the work, Merlin. We don't mind helping out."

Smiling softly, Merlin carried the basket back to Arthur's chambers and packed all the clean laundry away.

He made a trip to Gaius, collected the necessary potion and set off to deliver them. Lord Whitely gulped his down the second it was placed in his hand as usual. Lady Arielle was out so he left her potion on the table in the room. The rest of the potions were delivered with ease and without Merlin running into Arthur once.

When all the potions were delivered, Merlin made his way to the armoury and the little room just off of it. Collecting Arthur's armour, he made himself comfortable on the floor and spread the armour in a circle on the floor around him and began polishing it. It took some time to polish all the armour and sharpen Arthur' sword but Merlin was proud that he managed to complete the task in time to make it back to Arthur's chambers to lay out an outfit for the Crown Prince for dinner. It helped that he could use his magic to make the process go faster.

After laying out Arthur's clothes, Merlin returned to Gaius to grab something to eat for himself. He still had a few things that needed to be done before he retired for the night.


	2. Chapter 2 - First Night

**Title: **If You Only Knew 2/?  
**Author: theblackrose16**

**Beta: elsa_kallan**

**Summary:** Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

**Pairings/Characters:** Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gauis, Morgause

**Genre:** slash | Semi-Cannon

**Warnings:** language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg

**Rating:** NC–17  
**Word Count:** 2, 019

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~XOX~

**Chapter Two**

That evening found Merlin sitting on the floor of Arthur's room next to his wardrobe polishing Arthur's boots. With his hands busy, his mind began to wander. Arthur's training session that day came to the forefront of his thoughts. Arthur truly was magnificent. Not that Merlin would ever tell him that. His ego received enough stroking already.

He sat thinking of the way in which Arthur had moved during his training, his muscles rippling in the sun. His shirt had come off at some point and sweat had provided a gleam to Arthur's tanned muscles that he had found his gaze drawn to repeatedly despite his best efforts.

Unknowingly, a soft smile graced Merlin's lips. He was completely unaware of the figure watching him from the doorway. Merlin's train of thought was broken by Arthur's voice.

"Who are you thinking about that would bring such a smile to your face?"

Merlin was too startled to notice the jealousy beneath the question. His head whipped around lightning quick towards the doorway where Arthur was leaning, half in shadows.

While Merlin stuttered and stammered, his face going red, Arthur pushed away from the doorframe and prowledslowly towards Merlin. The stuttering got worse with each step he took. Upon reaching Merlin, Arthur crouched down and put a finger to his lips, stopping the incoherent babbling. The blonde Prince gazed at his servant, noticing the blush and couldn't help himself from wondering just how far that blush went.

Merlin's eyes widened and he looked up into Arthur's blue eyes. There was that look once again in Arthur's eyes. There was amusement, exasperation and something else. Looking hard into Arthur's eyes, Merlin's breathing quickened as did Arthur's. Slowly comprehension dawned. That something else looked suspiciously like desire.

Eyes dropping to Arthur's lips, Merlin mentally berated himself. Of course Arthur would never want him. It was all wishful thinking. At least until the finger on his lips drifted down to tilt his chin up, forcing him to look at Arthur once again. Merlin was still berating himself until Arthur slowly leaned down towards him. The smell of Arthur so close to him stopped all thought processes.

His scent was intoxicating. Merlin began to think that maybe he was hallucinating, that is until warm, solid, chapped lips claimed his own.

A tiny gasp escaped Merlin, granting Arthur the opportunity to slide his tongue into Merlin's mouth. Arthur stroked his tongue along the roof of Merlin's mouth at the same time that his hands came up to grab Merlin. One hand grasped the back of his neck while the other embedded itself in his dark locks. Unable to get enough, Arthur licked Merlin's tongue lazily causing the younger man to moan softly again.

Merlin reached up hesitantly and wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck, pulling them even closer together. A hand found its way into soft, golden hair as the other snaked around Arthur's broad shoulders.

Tongues duelled and another moan escaped from the back of Merlin's throat causing Arthur to moan in response and pushing the brunette backwards onto the floor. Settling his body completely over Merlin's with their legs intertwined, Arthur broke away and began to plant open mouth kisses along Merlin's jaw and down his throat. All Merlin could do was cradle the golden head in his palm while digging his nails into Arthur's back with his other hand as the pleasure built.

Unable to hold still any longer, Arthur rocked his hips against the body beneath him. Said body gasped and arched his hips to meet each thrust. Lips returned to one another, attempting to devour in their need to get even closer. Hands tugged on strands of hair, moans, gasps and whispered names escaped on pants of breath. Neither could think past the desperate need for closer and more.

Arthur's hand slipped under Merlin's tunic. Finding a nipple, he stroked in time with his thrusts. The young warlock threw his head back in pleasure and let out another moan that went straight to Arthur's groin.

"Open your eyes and look at me, Merlin. I want you to know exactly who it is that you belong to."

Blue eyes inched open and stared into the ones above him. The stare, full of desire and pure need, was the last straw for the young prince. He bucked at the hips underneath him. Erections brushing against each other with only fabric separating them.

"Come for me, Merlin."

Those words triggered a release unlike any other he had ever experienced. Seeing the shock and bliss on the brunette beneath him, sent the blonde right over the edge himself.

Arthur buried his face in Merlin's neck while arms crept up and held him tight. Short, heavy breathing echoed throughout the room. Merlin's mind was racing

_How in the name of Camelot did this happen? How do I explain this?_

Merlin hit a blank. For the first time, he had absolutely no idea how he was going to get himself out of this situation. Deciding that this was Arthur's fault, after all he was the one that had started it,he lightly nudged the blonde prince that was half lying on him.

"What just happened?"

A reply was muffled against his neck.

"I can't hear you, Arthur," Merlin's voice came out soft and tender, his fingers carding through blonde hair of their own violation.

"I said that I finally did something I've wanted to do since I met you."

"What? Try to kill me? Because if that's the case, you can try to kill me any time."

A light slap to his side was his reward for the smart- ass comment. Pulling away, Arthur climbed to his feet, bent down and picked his manservant turned lover up with ease.

"Arthur, what are you doing? Put me down."

"As you wish."

Merlin was gently deposited onto Arthur's bed. Confused, Merlin gazed up at the blonde.

Reading the question in his eyes, Arthur asked quietly, "Stay with me tonight?"

This was greeted with a big smile and suddenly Arthur felt himself being yanked onto his bed by a happy brunette for a repeat performance although neither was quite ready to go all the way but the brunette appeared to have a lot of energy so he was in for a long night. Arthur couldn't have asked for more.

~XOX~

Sometime later, Arthur called for some servants to bring him up a bath. Merlin pulled the curtains around Arthur's bed closed so that nobody would see him. He'd only just started to come to terms with eh change in the relationship between him and Arthur. He wasn't ready for the entire kingdom to be gossiping about him sharing the Prince's bed.

Arthur chuckled quietly to himself as the last servant filed out of his chambers. He quickly and efficiently stripped before sinking into the hot, soothing water. One day soon, he found himself hoping, Merlin would join him in the bath. It would be nice to have someone to scrub his back as well as a few other things. Now wasn't the time though. Merlin meant too much to him to rush him into sex. Arthur realised that he wanted to do this right, he didn't want the dark haired young man to have any regrets.

The blonde scrubbed himself clean and moved behind the screen to dress in his night clothes.

"Merlin?" he called out while towelling himself dry.

"Yeah Arthur?" Merlin's reply was slightly muffled by the drawn curtains.

"I'm sure you'd love a bath. Why don't you hop in and get clean while I dress."

There was silence for a second and then rustling. Arthur couldn't help smiling to himself when he heard the water splashing and then Merlin's sigh of appreciation.

"I think I might just use your bath every evening," Merlin murmured quietly, not really intending for the blonde to hear him.

"You're more than welcome," Arthur informed him softly as he walked back into the room from behind the screen. It wasn't that he was hiding from his new lover while dressing. It was merely habit to dress behind the screen.

Merlin started as the sound of Arthur's voice so close to him. Almost shyly, he turned slightly and darted a look at Arthur from the corner of his eye. "Really?"

Arthur blushed and decided to be completely honest. He didn't want to play the typically court games with Merlin that he knew many of the other nobles did. "I would like it if you shared my bed from now on, spent your evenings with me. It's not an order. You have the option of saying no and I promise that there will be no repercussions for you."

Merlin's eyes went wide in surprise. He turned to give Arthur his attention so quickly that some of the water sloshed over the side and onto the floor, unnoticed by the couple.

"Arthur no," was Merlin's vehement response. "Don't ever doubt that this is my choice, of my own free will. I want to be with you. I choose to share your bed and yes I want to continue sharing your bed every night."

A tension Arthur hadn't even been aware relaxed within and from the look on Merlin's face, his lover had noticed it. Merlin always was different, not really caring for protocol unless it was necessary. Usually, it amused or irritated him but in that moment Arthur was grateful for it. Merlin was one of the few people he knew that would have actually rejected his advances if he honestly wasn't interested.

Merlin stood and grabbed a towel. Looking over his shoulder with a soft smile on his face, he spoke quietly. "Help me dry my back?"

Without a moment's hesitation, Arthur stepped forward and helped Merlin dry his body. It wasn't overly sexual though it was intimate. It was more tender than anything else and gave Arthur a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Glancing at Merlin, he noticed that his dark haired lover was frowning.

"What is it?"

"I don't have anything to wear," Merlin answered sheepishly.

Arthur shook his head fondly at Merlin's answer. He'd already thought about it. "Here," he offered Merlin one of his own sleep shirts. Merlin took it from his and slipped it over his head. Arthur watched as a strange look crossed Merlin's face and he lifted the material up to hsi nose and took a deep breath.

"Merlin?"

The young warlock blushed at Arthur's tone and the raised eyebrow. he hadn't meant to do that.

"Sorry. It... it just... it smells like you," Merlin stuttered in embarrassment, his brain-mouth filter completely absent at that point.

Arthur reached out and cupped the back of Merlin's head with one of his hands while the other slipped around his waist and came to rest on the small of his back. He watched while Merlin - who usually was so hard pressed to shut up - struggled to find the words to convey what he wanted to say.

Merlin was embarrassed and unsure how to explain to Arthur that the shirt smelled like home, like comfort and safety and with everything that had happened over the last couple of years it was something that meant a lot to him. Even though the young warlock knew he was powerful, it wasn't a detergent to feelings of worry and not being safe.

Somehow though, Arthur seemed to understand. He smiled at Merlin, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead moving down to kiss his cheek, down his jaw before brushing softly across waiting lips.

Merlin's heart was hammering in his chest as Arthur's lips claimed his again. A tongue darted out, licking the young warlock's bottom lip. Merlin's eyes fluttered closed at the sensations buzzing through him. He couldn't contain the whimper that escaped a few moments later when Arthur pulled back because - No. Just no. Why was he pulling away?

"Come to bed," the Prince whispered, his breath ghosting across Merlin's face sending shivers down his spine.

Turned out, Arthur occasionally did have a good idea.


	3. Chapter 3 - A Good Night's Rest

**Title: **If You Only Knew 3/?  
**Author: theblackrose16**

**Beta: elsa_kallan**

**Summary:** Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

**Pairings/Characters:** Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gaius, Morgause, Kilgharrah

**Genre:** slash | Semi-Cannon

**Warnings:** language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg  
**Rating:** NC–17  
**Word Count:** 2, 858

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~XOX~

**Chapter Three**

**A Good Night's Rest**

For the first time in a long time, Morgana woke with a smile on her face. In the last few years, more often than not she woke up screaming or to tears running silently down her face. It left her exhausted and dreading sleep nearly every evening.

The door opened quietly and Morgana watched from her bed as Gwen slipped into the room carrying a tray overflowing with breakfast foods. Her maid and friend was wearing a plain yellow dress this morning, a shade Morgana knew she herself could never pull off due to her pale complexion.

Gwen gently set the tray down on the table before turning to her mistress.

"Oh. Good morning, My Lady. You look like you had a wonderful night's sleep."

Remembering her dreams - that she had recently learned were visions thanks to Morgause - the raven haired young woman couldn't resist grinning.

"I did indeed. Thank you, Gwen."

Gwen smiled in return and picked up Morgana's robe, handing it to her mistress to put on as she climbed out of bed.

The young Seer walked over to the table and sat down. Pointing to the chair beside her, she indicted for Gwen to join her for breakfast. This was something that they had been doing more and more frequently.

The two ate breakfast while idly talking about their plans for the day. The atmosphere surrounding the pair was light hearted and happy. Gwen couldn't stop smiling. It was rare indeed that her mistress woke up so happy and she was determined to help Morgana keep her happy mood for as long as possible.

~XOX~

Meanwhile elsewhere in the castle, slowly drifting to consciousness, Merlin felt more rested than he had in years. The bed beneath him was so soft and his pillow - warm and it moved rhythmically up and down almost lulling him back to sleep. A heavy, comforting weight was resting around his shoulders.

Between one moment and the next, the young warlock remembered everything that had transpired the previous night and into the early hours of the morning. He had never once seriously entertained the idea that Arthur thought of him as more than a servant and somewhat friend occasionally.

His human pillow began to stir and the hand resting on his shoulder started to run through his messy dark locks at the base of his neck. Continuing to play with Merlin's hair, Arthur slowly opened his eyes, gazing down at the head resting over his heart.

"Morning," the greeting rumbled through his chest where Merlin's head lay.

"Morning"

A blush spread across Merlin's face and he dropped his eyes to where his fingers had begun tracing an invisible pattern on the Crown Prince's chest without conscious thought.

"Are you having regrets, Merlin?" Arthur asked, sounding so serious and worried that Merlin immediately glanced back up and saw the apprehension reflected in the eyes staring back at him.

"NO! No, I don't. The only thing I might regret is that we didn't make love last night," Merlin replied, thinking he should have taken the chance when he had had it because things happened all the time and at some point Arthur may want nothing to do with him. There was no guarantee that this would last no matter what the Great Dragon said about being them being two sides of the same coin.

"Merlin, I'm not going to push you into things you're not ready for. I told you last night and it bears repeating. I can wait. I don't just want you for the sex, you idiot. And I don't want you here because you feel that you have to, that's it's some sort of obligation or duty."

Merlin studied Arthur with curious eyes. He was surprised that Arthur could think that after all that had transpired between them. He'd have thought that Arthur knew him well enough by now to know that he could never really be forced to do something that he didn't want to.

"I care about you, idiot. More than I should, and more than a simple friend," the blonde continued quietly.

Blue eyes widened during Arthur's little declaration. It was not like the blonde Prince to discuss _feelings_.

"Do you really?"

"You know I don't say something unless I mean it."

A snort, "Prat" muttered under his breath and then a thorough kiss that left the both of them panting followed.

"Thank you, you royal prat. I...I may also care more for you than would be wise."

Arthur kissed Merlin once again, his tongue running teasingly across Merlin's lower lip before sighing.

"We should probably get up. People will begin looking for us and we don't want you in the stocks, now do we?"

"You're right," Merlin pouted. "But don't get used to me saying it." Arthur chuckled at Merlin's cheek. Only his new lover treated him as if he was a normal, average person. Even his father took his status as Crown Prince into consideration in his dealings with his only son.

Reluctantly the two young lovers climbed out of the large bed and dressed for the day, occasionally stealing a kiss which hindered their progress. Once fully clothed, Merlin gave Arthur a quick kiss on the lips and then darted out of reach before Arthur had a chance to react.

"I shall go and collect your breakfast and be right back, Sire," he teased with a slight bow thrown in.

"Merlin," Arthur called out, "get a plate for yourself too. If anyone asks, just tell them it's on my orders."

The kind thought earned Arthur a beaming smile before Merlin disappeared out the door and down to the castle's kitchens.

Arthur gazed at the closed door with glazed eyes, deep in thought. He had actually taken a huge risk last night and it had turned into the best night of his young life. Merlin cared about him too. Not Crown Prince Arthur of Camelot, just Arthur the young man. The brunette cared for him even though he was constantly muttering what a royal pain in the arse he was. For some reason, his dirty socks were always mentioned.

Arthur trusted Merlin with his life and it had turned out that he had made the right choice seeing as how the young man had saved his life and gotten him out of trouble more times than he could count. After all, saving his life was how Merlin ended up as his manservant. Merlin had even helped save Camelot from a troll Queen. He had to shudder at the mere thought of his dearly departed stepmother. That had been a nightmare to sort out.

Arthur just wished that Merlin trusted him completely. Merlin was actually good at keeping the big secrets. Important secrets. At least he had figured out one of them if last night was anything to go by.

Now he just had to find out what the rest were and he, Crown Prince Arthur Pendragon, would not rest until he knew all about his dark haired lover and his life.

While Arthur was devising his strategy, Merlin was nearly floating down the hallway leading to the kitchens not looking where he was going. He turned a corner and walked literally straight into Gaius, landing himself on the cold, stone floor.

"Merlin, I've been looking everywhere for you. You didn't come home last night. Are you alright?" Gaius asked, extending a hand and helped Merlin off the floor where he had landed.

"Gaius…hi... ummm… yes, I'm fine."

"Then where did you disappear off to last night?"

Merlin's face turned as red as a tomato. He hadn't had time to come up with anything and Gaius always knew when he was hiding something. Well, almost always.

"Ummm...I...errr…ummmm…I….well you see...Ikindofsortofspentthenightwi thArthur."

It took several moments for Gaius to understand his young charge's ramblings. A small smile appeared on his face when understanding dawned. The pair had seemed closer than most masters and servants.

"Are you happy, Merlin?"

"What? Yes, I am, very happy that is, but I never expected you to react so calmly."

"You deserve some happiness, and anyone who knows you both should have been expecting this to happen at some point."

"Thank you, Gaius. I should be going now. Arthur is expecting his breakfast."

"Go then. I think that I shall no longer wait for you in the evenings, shall I?"

The red came back to Merlin's face in full force.

"Errr…no I don't think you need to, thanks."

Ducking around the corner, Merlin all but ran the rest of the way to the kitchens.

"Morning, Marie. How are you this fine morning?"

The woman in charge of the Royal Kitchen looked up from where she was supervising the baking of the loaves of bread at the sound of Merlin's voice. She was in her late forties with brown hair that was greying. She had three sons who were all grown up, and her husband had died from a winter cold that had gotten into his lungs.

"Merlin, right on time today."

The kitchen staff were all well acquainted with Merlin's schedule after the last two years he'd spent serving the Prince.

Merlin gave her a goofy grin in response.

"Prince Arthur asked for two trays this morning."

Marie didn't even blink. She'd been working in the kitchens nearly all her life. The nobility requested all manner of unusual things all the time. A second breakfast was by far the least worrying thing.

"Sure. Susan get Merlin two trays of breakfast for Prince Arthur."

Susan was a young woman with shoulder length blonde hair. She'd only been working in the kitchens for about a year but always had a smile and a kind word for Merlin.

In short order, Merlin had taken the trays with a thanks aimed at Marie and Susan. He quickly made his way back to Arthur's chamber, ducking past the bustling servants already beginning their day's work. As he walked, Merlin remembered his conversation with Gaius and his face immediately flushed red again.

He would need to tell Arthur that Gaius knew. It would make for an interesting conversation over breakfast.

~XOX~

Merlin stumbled into Arthur's chambers with their food, still red in the face. Despite everything, it appeared he could still blush easily and with the slightest provocation.

"Merlin, what is the matter with you? Are you feeling ill?" Arthur asked concerned, looking up from where he was already sitting at the table in his chambers.

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that... I ran into Gaius and he kind of knows I spent the night. Apparently I'm transparent," he commented while shrugging his shoulders, sounding as if he had no clue where Gaius had gotten that idea.

Arthur laughed under his breath, "Well, if it's any comfort you weren't last night. I just decided to take a chance and to hell with the consequences. I didn't know you'd reciprocate my feelings at all."

Merlin looked surprised, pausing in the middle of the room just before the table, "You were really willing to take that risk?"

Arthur merely nodded, motioning his lover to sit beside him. "Yes. Why don't we start eating before our food becomes cold?"

The two lovers sat and ate, occasionally stealing glances and talking about relatively unimportant things. Feelings of companionship and contentment were pleasant and new for the both of them. They were no longer alone. There was someone to share in their intimate thoughts now.

Merlin stood and cleared the plates once they had finished eating. Now that he thought about it, he was actually glad that Gaius knew. Merlin hated keeping secrets - which was ironic since he had some really big ones. Secrets he was still keeping from Arthur.

As Merlin carried their plates down to the kitchen, he contemplated the biggest secret he was still keeping from Arthur. He was terrified of what would happen if, no – when Arthur found out. He would eventually find out, there was no escaping that particular hard cold truth.

It was one of the main reasons he had come away from last night still a virgin. To give himself completely to Arthur and then have the blonde turn on him would most likely kill him - if not physically then emotionally. Merlin loved Arthur and knew that Arthur cared for him but he still didn't know what Arthur would do. The fear and uncertainty scared him more than anything else.

_One of these days I am going to be caught and then it's all over._

Arthur couldn't go against his father for a mere servant even if said servant also happened to be his lover now.

Blinking, Merlin set the plates down and returned in the direction of Arthur's chambers. Along the way, he came across Morgana, whom upon seeing Merlin, smirked at him and a giggle escaped her before she could contain herself.

Merlin stopped when he reached her and raised an eyebrow in question. Morgana simply grabbed his arm and hauled him into the nearest empty room. She locked the door before speaking in a teasing tone, "Oh Merlin, I had a dream last night."

The young man swallowed audibly and a nervous look flitted across his face. Slowly, Morgana turned to face Merlin. Her smirk was in full force now.

"Do you want to know what I dreamed about?"

"I'm not entirely sure I want to know," Merlin muttered under his breath even though it was loud enough for her to hear.

Morgana continued speaking as if she hadn't heard him though, choosing instead to ignore him, "It was quiet an unusual dream. You were sitting on the floor in Arthur's chambers. Arthur came in, locked the door behind him and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of you. The two of you didn't leave the room until the next morning. Peculiar isn't it?" She didn't mention what else she'd seen in her dreams, visions of a future still a while away but nonetheless they had been happy ones. Visions that she looked forward to coming to pass instead of wanting to find a way to prevent them.

Merlin blushed, "I umm…well you see the thing is….funny you should mention it….ummm…"

"Give it up, Merlin. I can see the love bite just barely visible above your kerchief.."

Automatically, one of Merlin's hands flew up to cover the left side of his neck then went bright red under Morgana's knowing gaze. Her smirk turned into a full-fledged smile at his telling reaction.

Realizing that his actions had betrayed him, Merlin went even redder.

"I…ummm…"

Morgana walked forward and grasped his hands, "It's alright Merlin. I think it's great. Ever since Arthur met you he started changing, becoming a better person. It's one of the major reasons I decided to come back instead of staying with Morgause. You've changed him and he has changed you. For the better."

"Well, he is still a royal prat."

They both laughed, "Yes but you love him anyway."

"Yeah, I guess I do," Merlin became nervous with the way Morgana was still smiling at him.

"I had better be getting back to Arthur." The young warlock started edging towards the door.

"You do that. Oh and Merlin?"

"Yes, Morgana?"

"Try to keep the love bites hidden. Uther will most likely have a fit if he sees them. I wouldn't put it past him to have you thrown in the dungeons." Morgana was much more serious now.

Merlin flushed at the reminder and fled down the corridor with a nod in her direction.

Feeling light and carefree, Morgana made her way outside to the gardens hidden behind the massive stone castle. No one else was around and the raven haired beauty took her time strolling through the gardens, soaking up the peace and sunshine.

Morgana had no idea how much time had passed as she enjoyed the sunshine until a voice broke into her thoughts

"Oh, forgive me, My Lady. I didn't see you there. Forgive me for having disturbed you."

It was a man's voice and one that the young Seer knew well. He was always well spoken and had treated her with a lot of respect. He was one of the few of Arthur's knights that she felt completely comfortable with.

"It's alright Sir Leon." Looking up at him, Morgana felt a sudden impulsiveness seize her. "Won't you join me?" She indicated the vacant half of the stone benching she was currently seated upon.

Leon appeared indecisive for a few moments before nodding his head in acceptance. "I'd love to My Lady."

"Its Morgana when we're alone, please Sir Leon. I hope we know each other well enough by now for that."

Morgana turned her body so that it was angled towards the blonde knight as she spoke. Without thought, she caught a strand of her hair hanging over her shoulder and began absently playing with it.

Leon gave her a real smile, not one of his polite I'm-in-public smiles. A feeling of nervousness fluttered in the pit of Morgana's stomach at the sight.

"Of course Morgana. And it is just Leon."


	4. Chapter 4 - Long Overdue Conversations

**Title: **If You Only Knew 4/?  
**Author: theblackrose16**

**Beta: elsa_kallan**

**Summary:** Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

**Pairings/Characters:** Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gaius, Morgause, Kilgharrah

**Genre:** slash | Semi-Cannon

**Warnings:** language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg  
**Rating:** NC–17  
**Word Count:** 3, 317

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~XOX~

**Chapter Four**

**Long Overdue Conversations**

"Merlin, there you are," Arthur greeted the dark haired young man as he opened the door. "My father wants me to attend council again today so you'll be joining me." Beneath the serious tone Merlin could hear Arthur's amusement.

Merlin pulled a face at that. Council meetings were usually one of the most boring things to attend. Half the time he found himself drifting off while still standing upright.

Arthur chuckled at the look on his lover's face. Striding forward, he placed a quick kiss on Merlin's lips before continuing out the door. "Come on Merlin. We haven't got all day," the blonde shouted over his shoulder.

The young warlock shook his head. Something it appeared would always stay the same no matter what.

"_Mer_lin."

"Coming Sire," the Merlin called back, hurrying to catch up with Arthur as the Prince made his way to the council chambers.

~XOX~

Merlin stood behind the chair that Arthur was seated upon with his back to the stone wall and fought off the urge to yawn. The council had been arguing about the same things for the last hour and had made absolutely zero progress. Merlin instead found his attention as well as his eyes drifting to Arthur. The blonde had dressed in his comfortable dark brown trousers with his red jacket - the one with all the buttons he liked to make Merlin polish - over a plain white shirt.

Arthur himself was bored out of his mind. It was occasions such as this that he was grateful that his father had drilled the ability to not show what he was thinking into his head from a very young age. Sometimes he found himself wandering if his father's advisor spoke so much merely to listen to the sounds of their own voices. They could surely go on all day if presented with the opportunity.

"We don't seem to be getting any further at the moment," Uther's voice drew the attention of all. "We shall adjourn for today."

Arthur barely restrained himself from offer a heartfelt thanks to his father. That was until he remembered where and what they were going to be doing next. He loved his people - he really did. It was just the thought of having to sit and listen to the people's complaints when all he wanted to do was get Merlin alone so that he could touch him was driving him insane.

Merlin appeared to sense his mood and followed silently. They met up with Morgana and Gwen at the side door to the receiving room. Uther, Arthur and Morgana swept inside each taking a seat on their everyday thrones with Merlin and Gwen standing to one side while two of Uther's servants stood on the other side of the trio.

Leon stepped forward when Uther waved his hand.

"Your Majesty?"

"Show the first one in," Uther commanded.

Leon bowed his head, turned and nodded to the guards standing by the double door to allow the first person inside to be presented to the King.

The rest of the morning was spent listening to the problems of the peasants. There was a farmer whose neighbour's sheep kept crossing onto his land, another wished their son to train as a squire, a young orphan girl looking for work in the castle as a maid, a farmer whose tree shed its leaves on his neighbour's property... and so it went on. it kind of blurred together after a while for Arthur and Merlin.

By the end of it, everyone was more than ready to escape for lunch in their own quarters.

As all those assembled stood to depart, Arthur caught the sleeve of Merlin's shirt and leaned close to speak to him quietly.

"Gather two plates from the kitchens and bring them to my chambers."

Merlin nodded in relief. He never actually served Arthur when it was just the two of them in his chambers.

He made a quick detour to the kitchens to collect lunch before heading to Arthur's chambers. He'd barely placed the plates on the table before strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back into a strong body.

"All I could think about was getting my hands on you," Arthur whispered in his ear, lips trailing down to nibble on the spot where Merlin's neck and shoulder joined. The red kerchief fell to the floor unnoticed. Merlin twisted round in the circle of Arthur's arms, reaching up to twine his arms around the blonde's neck. Closing the inch between their lips, Arthur kissed his lover. At first teasingly and then more firmly, he ran his tongue along Merlin's lower lip. Merlin eagerly parted his lips as his fingers drifted down to run through Arthur's hair. A groan tore itself from Merlin's throat when their hips came in contact. Suddenly desperate for more, Merlin backed Arthur into the table, nipped at the blonde's lower lip and then sank to his knees. Arthur leaned back on his hands against the table top, starting hungrily at his lover. Merlin peered up at him through his lashes before yanking at the ties on Arthur's breaches. Merlin pulled the brown material down and out the way while Arthur's knuckles turned white with the restraint he was showing at the picture Merlin made.

Arthur's cock jutted out from its nest of dark blonde curls, a drop of pre-cum glistening on the tip. Merlin dipped his head, brushing his nose along Arthur's thigh and inhaling the scent of arousal along with a scent that Merlin had come to recognize as exclusively Arthur's.

Hesitantly, Merlin brushed his lips over the silky head, flicking his tongue out to taste the drop of pre-come.

Arthur couldn't control the hissed curse that escaped or the way his hips jerked forward. Merlin chuckled at his lover reaction and planted a wet kiss on Arthur's hipbone before turning his attention back to Arthur's cock.

The blonde looked down at the dark head bobbing up and down. He couldn't help groaning at the picture that Merlin made on his knees before him. It was the manifestation of many a fantasy for him.

Merlin's tongue darted out and licked Arthur's cock from root to tip. His fingers dug into the blonde's hip while the other frantically undid his own trousers so that he could touch himself as Arthur continued to moan in pleasure.

Feeling his climax building up, Arthur pulled Merlin's mouth off him with an obscene '_pop_' and yanked the raven haired man to his feet by the scruff of his neck. Still holding onto the back of Merlin's neck, Arthur held him still, ignoring Merlin's whine of protest at being stopped, and leaned forward, taking his mouth in a firm kiss. His tongue almost immediately swept into Merlin's mouth as he reached down with his other hand and took hold of both of their cocks.

A few strokes later and they were both coming one after the other over Arthur's hand. The room was silent except for their heavy breathing.

Merlin grabbed a cloth to clean himself up, passing it along to the blonde was he was done. A light blush was staining his cheeks but he was working on that.

Arthur couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face as he looked at Merlin but he decided against teasing his lover. After all, he most definitely did not want to be sleeping alone.

"Join me for lunch Merlin."

Merlin smiled at Arthur gratefully, taking the chair beside the Crown Prince.

"How is your mother?" Arthur queried once they began eating.

Merlin grinned. Arthur's affection for his mother was something that he secretly loved. He knew the blonde had grown up without a mother and to see and hear Arthur treat Hunith so respectfully even though she was a lowly peasant never failed to make Merlin happy.

"She's well. They're nearly finished with the harvest and will have enough to last them all through winter. I did extend to her your invitation to come to Camelot but she hasn't given me a definite answer. She did ask after you though."

This time it was Arthur's turn to blush in pleasure. "Oh, what did you tell her?" He asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

He wasn't fooling Merlin though. "I told her you were still a royal prat but that you were well and had asked after her."

Arthur smiled in gratitude but didn't say anything. "Speaking of harvests, they've managed to refill the granary stores to full capacity."

Merlin recognized the change in topic for what it was but didn't call Arthur out on wanting to ignore his feelings. "That's good. I know you were worried about that."

"Yeah, despite everything we appear to have had a good harvest this season."

"How are the repairs on the lower town coming along? They should be just about finished shouldn't they?" Merlin pushed down the feeling of guilt that he always got when the attack and subsequent damage from the dragon was mentioned.

"They finished the last of the repairs two days ago. I've been down to check on it personally when I can otherwise I've had Leon and Morgana keep an eye on them."

"And the knights' training? Didn't you get a few new recruits lately? How are you turning out?" Merlin asked curiously. While he watched Arthur training with the knights, he wasn't always able to do so and sometimes Arthur just needed to rant about a few of the more useless attempts.

Arthur plopped a grape in his mouth and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "I don't even want to discuss them, they are so useless. I need men that can fight... Like Lancelot. I miss Lancelot."

"I don't think you're the only one," Merlin commented. Arthur raised an eyebrow in question prompting Merlin to elaborate. "I think that Gwen might miss him fiercely and dearly wishes for his return. I think that they love each other or at least near enough."

"Why didn't she go with him then?"

"Gwen stayed for Morgana and I think Lancelot might have thought that you had feelings for Gwen and didn't want to get in the way of that," Merlin informed him calmly.

Arthur frowned at his lover's answer. "You know I don't have feelings for Gwen, at least not like that don't you?" He reached out to place a hand on Merlin's thigh as the other man calmly ate his last piece of cheese.

"I kind of figured that it was implied, what with all that we've done. You're a prat but you're an honourable one. You wouldn't be with me if you wanted Gwen."

The Crown Prince shook his head. Merlin really was unlike anyone else he thought fondly.

"I'm expected on the training field shortly," Arthur informed his lover apologetically. He didn't want to end their lunch but people would begin look for him soon.

Merlin stood and grabbed the empty plates. He leaned down to give Arthur a quick kiss before replying, "I know. Have fun beating your knights up."

"_Merlin_, that's not the way you talk to your Prince or about his knights," Arthur teased.

"You'll just have to deal with me later then, won't you," was Merlin's cheeky response as he left Arthur's chambers.

Arthur laughed at that. He collected the sword that Merlin had just sharpened where it was lying at the other end of the table and headed for the training fields with a slight spring in his step.

~XOX~

Leaving Arthur's chambers, Merlin headed in the direction of Gaius' chambers. He was halfway there when he spotted Morgana coming from the opposite direction. Seeing the dark haired young woman brought back all his feelings of guilt and sadness. He really needed to actually speak with Morgana alone without the presence of Arthur or Gwen since neither knew of their magic. The conversation was long overdue.

Merlin slowed down and drew to a stop, waiting until Morgana reached him. "My Lady, I was hoping that I could have a word."

Morgana stopped and looked at Merlin, alerted by his tone and the way that he had addressed her that this was a serious request. She still felt some lingering anger towards the warlock for what he had done to her but she understood why he had done it. Her visions had ensured that she understood.

"Of course, Merlin. Come with me."

Together the pair walked through the corridors to a section of the castle that was rarely occupied. Morgana led Merlin further to the entrance of one of the towers. Merlin raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Morgana. The young Seer smiled at him. "We won't be disturbed up there. Nobody goes up anymore and we can lock the door if need be."

Merlin nodded in agreement and they both silently made their way to the top of the tower. They ended up in a large circular room that was sparsely furnished. There was a rug on the floor with a table and three chairs pushed to one side. Other than that the room was empty.

Merlin followed Morgana into the room, shutting and locking the door behind himself.

"I wanted to apologize," Merlin blurted out with his usual finesse.

Morgana tilted her head to the side, staring back at him. "For what?"

"For poisoning you. For not being there for you when you needed someone to help you with your dreams and magic. For not trusting you to make the right choice, for doubting your loyalties," Merlin explained in a rush desperate to get everything out.

Morgana's face went slack with surprise. She had to know that Merlin felt guilty about poisoning her but she hadn't known it had been more than that.

Merlin stepped forward, reached out and clasped her hands. "I tried to help by sending you to the druids but that only made things worse. You wouldn't have had to go through this and make the choice you did if I had been there for you from the beginning. I should hav-"

"Merlin stop," Morgana squeezed his hands, cutting off his self blaming. She tugged him over to the chairs against the wall. Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, Morgana spoke softly.

_"Fordwin wamm"_

The dust and cobwebs covering the chairs vanished leaving the wood looking freshly polished. She glanced at Merlin again to gauge his reaction at such a blatant display of magic. Merlin picked on her worry, giving her a soft smile as reassurance.

"Thanks Morgana."

Morgana was thrilled to know now for sure that Merlin accepted her.

Once they were seated Merlin took a deep, fortifying breath before taking the plunge. He could almost look at this as a sort of rehearsal for when he finally told Arthur the truth - based on recent events it would be sooner rather than later.

"I also have magic. I am magic.". Merlin didn't look at Morgana's face for her reaction, instead he stared blankly at the opposite wall as he spoke. "I was born this way. Mum said I was doing magic before I was walking. I've had it drilled into me, you know? _'Don't ever tell anyone. Keep your magic a secret.'_ There are very few people that know. I wanted to tell you when your dreams started getting so bad but..."

Merlin finally glanced across at Morgana. She was watching him with a look of understanding. Out of everyone, she was one of the few people who could truly understand and empathize with what he was feeling and the fear of keeping his magic a secret.

"I can understand if you can't forgive me for what I've done, I jus-"

"Merlin. I forgive you. I forgave you a while ago." Morgana interjected. "When I was gone... Morgause taught me a lot. I know it was only to manipulate me into helping her take over Camelot but she still showed me things."

"Like that spell?"

Morgana smiled. "Like that spell. She... She explained to me that my dreams were visions of what may come to pass and sometimes - although rarely - what has already come to pass. I learned that by suppressing my magic and my visions only the worst and most powerful broke through. By accepting all of who I am, they're not so bad now. Yes, I will still get visions of threats to Camelot but I can control to a degree how badly they affect me. I also dream about the good that can happen. I see so much more now. I saw what would have happened if you hadn't poisoned me and allowed Morgause to win."

The screams still sometime echoed in her head.

_- "ARTHUR!"_

_"Morgana stop please. Arthur is dead because of you and Morgause. Your hatred is destroying us all." -_

It served as a reminder of what could have been and what could happen if she decided to walk the path of vengeance again.

Merlin reached out slowly and placed a hand on Morgana's shoulder. "There's something I'd like to suggest."

Morgana broke out of her revive and gave Merlin her full attention. "What is it?"

"Maybe we can practice together. Strengthen our magic and learn new spells. Sometimes just talk about it. It would be nice to have someone in the same position to talk to."

The smile that Morgana gave Merlin at his suggestion was beautiful and full of happiness.

"Merlin, I'd love to. We just have to be careful not to be caught. Uther won't even spare me if he finds out and I'm his ward."

Merlin winced in sympathy. It had to be difficult to know that your father figure would kill you if he learned who you truly were.

"I know and I'm so sorry Morgana."

"It's not your fault Merlin."

The young warlock sighed before realizing how long they had been gone. Someone was bound to notice that they were missing soon. Especially Gwen who would be looking for Morgana.

"We'd better go. I still need to wash Arthur's royal socks."

Morgana laughed. Arthur's socks had become a running joke in the castle amongst the servants according to Gwen.

They slowly made their way down the stairs and went their separate ways at the bottom with a shared smile and the promise to meet again soon.

~XOX~

Morgana was still thinking about her conversations with Leon and then Merlin hours later as she sat in her chambers before her mirror, running a brush through her long, raven locks.

Leon had been a surprise. She had known the knight for years but it was only recently that she had really begun to notice him - ever since she had gotten back from her 'trip' with Morgause. He was sweet and a true gentleman as well as being surprisingly easy to talk to. She remembered the flower that he picked for her.

_"My mother loves flowers. She has a beautiful garden that she spends hours in," Leon shared with Morgana, reaching behind himself and plucking a rose to present to her. "According to my mother, pink is supposed to represent friendship, fun and cheeky romance."_

Morgana couldn't help hoping that Leon was serious and might be hinting at the desire to get to know her romantically. They would have to be careful - Uther would never ever approve of a mere knight pursuing her. Arthur though... he would understand since he was in love with Merlin. Morgana stopped herself from planning further. She might be making something out of nothing. It would be better to wait and see what Leon did next, if he approached her again. Maybe she would get Gwen to do some careful prodding for her.

Things were definitely beginning to look like they were getting better though and of course that's when everything went straight to hell.

~XOX~

**Author's Note:** I know next to nothing about flowers except that they are pretty and smell nice so this is the website that I looked: .


	5. Chapter 5-The Tears of Uther Pendragon 1

**Title: **If You Only Knew 5/?  
**Author: theblackrose16**

**Beta: elsa_kallan**

**Summary:** Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

**Pairings/Characters:** Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gaius, Morgause, Kilgharrah

**Genre:** slash | Semi-Cannon

**Warnings:** language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg

**Rating:** NC–17  
**Word Count:** 5, 330

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~XOX~

**Chapter Five**

**The Tears of Uther Pendragon Part One**

The afternoon had gone on as normal. Arthur had trained with some of the knights and Merlin had done his usual chores. The only difference was that today, there was tension between the two. Not the "I'm going to strangle you" kind of tension, it was more the "I want to grab you and ravish you this very instant" kind of tension.

Unfortunately, the day had also given Merlin a chance to think while his hands were busy. His thoughts were not the happy ones you would think a person with a new lover would have or even comforting ones. In fact, they were the opposite.

Will and Freya had been killed, he had nearly lost his mother and Gaius had nearly been killed because of him, as had Gwen. The worst loss he had suffered though, was that of his father and then all the people who had been killed by the Great Dragon. So many had been hurt and killed because of him. It was his fault. Arthur was going to kill him if he ever found out. Then there was Morgana. A friend he had very nearly lost first to death and then to Morgause. He remembered when they had found her. She had asked to speak to him and Arthur in her chambers once she had settled in.

_FLASH_

_"I was kept in a cell for the three weeks I was there. I thought I'd go mad."_

_"How did you escape?" Arthur asked curiously._

_"They moved me about three days ago. I don't know why. It may have been because of the patrol from Camelot."_

_Now Arthur was confused, "The patrol found you?"_

_"I thought I would finally be free. But then I saw them killed. Every one of them cut down. But that night, the bandits were distracted by their spoils. I took my chance. When I saw you, I couldn't believe it. I think I need time to rest now though."_

_Arthur leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Everything will be alright. You're safe now."_

_The crown prince walked out the door with Merlin behind him until Morgana stopped him._

_"Merlin. I want to speak to you... I know what you did. You tried to poison me."_

_"I didn't want to," he was desperate to convince her._

_"I know and it's alright, Merlin. I understand. You were just trying to protect Camelot, I hope I would have done the same."_

_"Really?" he asked this time with disbelief._

_"I was so naive, Merlin. I don't think I really understood what I was doing. But, believe me; I have seen the evils in this world. I have seen firsthand what it is that Uther fights against. You don't know how much I regret everything that I've done. I just...hope that you can forgive me."_

_"I am so sorry for everything you've been through. It's good to have you back. If you don't mind my asking though, what convinced you? I was sure you would join Morgause and her cause."_

_Morgana smiled softly at him, "I'll tell you. I think you might be the only one I can tell and I want to share it with someone. The first few days I was filled with anger and hate. I would have gladly killed Uther with my bare hands."_

_"What changed?"_

_"I had a dream," Morgana replied hoping Merlin would get the hint and believe her._

_Surprise flicked over Merlin's face._

_"One of those dreams. What did you see?"_

_"I was standing on a road that split into two. I saw that if I took one path, the path I was on filled with anger and hate it would bring destruction and death. I would gain the throne for but a short time. The rest of my life would be spent fighting and trying to kill first Uther and then Arthur. It would have been a very lonely life and I would only have my hatred for company. _

_The other path was the one that I chose. I saw that if I returned to Camelot and helped Arthur become king we would enter a peaceful era. Magic would no longer be banned; he would be a just and kind king. But the thing that convinced me was that I went forward a bit. I don't know how many years in the future but what I saw was beautiful and I want it. I want it for all of us."_

_"Could you tell me what you saw, please?" Merlin begged feeling as if he was on the edge wanting to know what could have been so big as to change her mind completely, to know that everything he did would be worth it._

_"I saw myself. I was sitting in the courtyard. This little girl came running right up to me, called me mommy and then hugged me. Then two more children, a girl and a boy came running up to us and called me Aunt Morgana. The little boy looked so much like Arthur it wasn't difficult to see it was his son and the little girl looked like you. When I looked up the steps to the castle, you and Arthur were standing in the doorway smiling and laughing. We were all so happy. _

_I want that Merlin. I want those children, the peace and laughter more than I want revenge against Uther. If I go after him, I'll never get to be happy. So I made a choice. It doesn't mean that I don't hate Uther because I do. I am just choosing not to attack him. Besides,Arthur didn't look that much older in my vision so Uther is not going to be king for forever or even that much longer."_

_Merlin was speechless. What Morgana had described was nearly everything he had hoped for. He grinned at her._

_"Thank you for telling me. You have no idea of what you've just given me."_

_"I know Merlin. I know."_

_Merlin left her to rest and made his way to Arthur's chambers._

_"What are you looking so happy about?" were the first words out of the blonde's mouth._

_"The sun is shining, we found Morgana, and I have just finished all my chores."_

_"Hmm..."_

_"Er, do you have to go in there right now?" Merlin asked noticing Arthur's direction._

_"Why?"_

_"Er, I just washed the floor."_

_"Don't worry, I won't fall over."_

_"You really have no idea, do you?" The young warlock asked shaking his head._

_"All you have to do is wipe it."_

_"How would you know?" Merlin asked, gaining a shocked look from the Prince._

_"I beg your pardon, Merlin?"_

_"It's just... You've never had to do it."_

_"Oh, I know how to use a cloth and bucket."_

_"Oh, yeah," Merlin snorted._

_"It's easy. Here, let me show you," Arthur said taking the cloth from Merlin._

_"Hmm? Hmm."_

_Arthur picked up the bucket, dipped the cloth in it, and wiped Merlin's face with it._

_"Would you like me to show you how to use the bucket?"_

_The question immediately had Merlin backing up, "No."_

_Arthur stalked forward and dumped the bucket of dirty water over Merlin's head._

_FLASH_

Shaking away the memories, Merlin headed to Arthur's chambers to help the prat dress for dinner.

~XOX~

As everyone one in the castle was preparing for dinner a figure crept across the Square, leaving the castle and heading for the forest where another was waiting.

"My servant. How have you fared?"

"My Lady Morgause. Camelot has welcomed back its daughter with open arms."

"Nobody suspects you of anything?

"No my lady."

"And the boy?"

"Merlin? He spends so much time around the Prince and Lady Morgana that he doesn't notice anything else, let alone what I am up to."

The servant presented Morgause with a handkerchief Uther had cried into upon discovering Morgana safe.

"You've done well. The tears of Uther Pendragon have only begun to fall."

Morgause dropped the handkerchief with Uther's tears into a giant cauldron filled with boiling mud and dropped in a large root next. The root screamed, causing the servant to flinch.

"The mandrake root is very special. Only those with magic can hear its cries. But for those without magic, the magic pierces the very recesses of the soul, twisting the unconscious into the very image of fear and dread. Uther Pendragon will find that his great kingdom counts for nothing, when he has lost his mind," Morgause explains.

_"Mid þæm wundorcræft þæs ealdan æwþ ic þe hate nime Utheres wopdropan ond þa gemengan mid his blod. Sy he under wittig ond deofol seocnes his heorte afylþ," _she chanted.

Morgause pulled out the muddy root and handed it to her servant.

The servant returned to Camelot unnoticed, snuck into Uther's chambers on the pretence of laying down fresh sheets and secured the mandrake root underneath Uther's bed.

~XOX~

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers before dinner. His face warmed as he remembered his unintentional innuendo from earlier.

_FLASH_

_Arthur was fighting two opponents while blindfolded on the training grounds._

_"Let's change weapons. What'd you think, Merlin?" he asked Merlin._

_"I've seen better," he replied then blushed bright red when he heard what he'd said._

_Arthur smirked knowing what dirty thoughts were going through his head._

_"Course. Well, you are the expert at fighting with your eyes closed," the Crown Prince teased._

_"But you didn't see what I did when we rescued Morgana."_

_"Because you were hiding behind a tree."_

_"No. I was not."_

_"I'm not going to use the blindfold, I'm just going to fight like Merlin here."_

_He cowers, "I'm Merlin, don't hurt me. Ready?"_

_Arthur goes back to fighting with the two knights again. Merlin magically pulled the sword out of Arthur's grasp causing the blonde to get hit in the stomach with a mace and fall face first into the mud._

_FLASH_

Uther was holding a feast to celebrate Morgana's return since Gaius had now pronounced she was as good as new.

"Standing here, seeing so many happy faces, seems almost like a dream. I can tell you, I have not felt like this in a long time," Uther began his speech addressing the court.

"What, drunk?" Arthur chipped in.

Uther snorted at Arthur's comment as the other Lords and Ladies laughed. He playfully slapped his son on the shoulder before continuing his speech. "Drunk with happiness. I would have searched the entire world, the seas, the skies, the stars, for that smile. To have it stolen from me was like a blade to my heart. Morgana, there are no words. You mean more to me that you will ever know. To Lady Morgana," he toasted.

The courts raised their goblets in unison and toasted, "To Lady Morgana."

Every time Merlin stepped forward to serve Arthur he made sure to brush up against the Prince, to let his fingers linger. It was driving Arthur insane.

"I need some air," Uther muttered more to himself than anyone else, making his way to The Square.

Walking around, he heard a noise from the shadows.

"Who's that? Arthur?"

Uther walked to the well and looked inside. Ygraine grabbed his arm and screamed.

"Please. Please!" she begged.

"AHHHH!" Uther screamed.

He continued screaming, curling up in a foetal position and rocking back and forth as guards ran forward to check on him. Arthur was following on their heels with Merlin and Morgana running behind the blonde.

They managed to get the king to his chambers where Arthur set Uther down on the bed for the physician to examine.

"Careful. Is he going to be alright?" Morgana asked Gaius.

"He should sleep 'til morning," the physician replied before walking out into the corridor where Arthur was waiting for him.

"What could've made him like this?" the young man asked desperately. Merlin stepped forward ad placed a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"I've no idea."

"Gaius, he was lying on the ground crying."

"Exhaustion," Gaius shrugged.

"_Gaius_. What aren't you telling me? What's wrong with him? Tell me."

"When I found him, he was mumbling. Most of it was incoherent, but..." he trailed off, eyes shifting to the side.

"What?"

"He kept mentioning your mother's name."

"He never talks about her," Arthur exclaimed shocked, eyes wide with surprise.

"He claimed that he saw her. In the well."

"Did the guards see him in this state?"

"I think you're worrying too much."

"If the people get to know about this...!"

"We say that he was ill, but now he's recovered," Gaius attempted to reassure him.

"You should return with Merlin to your chambers. You'll need a good night's rest."

Arthur nodded before slowly walking down the hall. Merlin walked beside Arthur in silence.

"Arthur," he murmured as the Prince walked into the room and to the fireplace where another servant had started a fire.

Arthur walked up to Merlin and pulled him into a hug. The blonde buried his face in his lover's neck, breathing deeply.

"Stay with me tonight, Merlin?" he breathed.

"Of course. You only had to ask," was Merlin's quick response.

Both undressed and climbed into Arthur's bed. The Crown Prince immediately tugged Merlin into his arm. The brunette went willingly sensing Arthur needed comfort and if the only way to give it was to allow Arthur to cuddle him, then who was he to complain?

Arthur pulled the covers over the both of them before pulling Merlin's back flush against his chest and wrapping muscled arms around him.

"My father's going to be alright, isn't he?" Arthur whispered.

Merlin squeezed the arms around him in what he hoped was reassurance.

"Gaius hasn't failed you or your father yet, Arthur. If there is a way to help him, he'll find it."

The blonde hugged him tighter for a second in thanks for trying to make him feel better. Neither were in the mood to do anything more than hold each other, the earlier passion fading to a back burner in the face of needed comfort. After some time, the pair drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

~XOX~

The cave where Morgause was hiding out was dark except for the light that the torches provided her. The servant girl had once again snuck out to meet with the witch.

"Already the rumours are spreading," the servant informed her.

"The mandrake's poison does its work well," Morgause smirked in happiness.

"Soon all of Camelot will believe that their king is going mad."

"And a kingdom without a king is ripe for the picking."

"When do you go to Cenred?"

"Tomorrow."

The servant was curious, "And he will do as you wish?"

"Cenred wishes only to please me."

"Then your time with him has been well spent," the servant praised Morgause before slipping away to sneak back into Camelot.

Morgause watched her go with a smile. When Morgana had run and refused to join her, she'd thought that all her plans had gone to waste and then she'd come across her new accomplice. The girl was too easy to manipulate. The next few days were going to be days worth remembering if all went according to plan.

~XOX~

A guard spotted the servant sneaking back in from the shadows. With rumours spreading of the King being unwell, everyone was on high alert.

"Who goes there?" he called out.

"I was just taking a stroll," a quiet, soft voice replied.

The guard heard and saw the mud dripping from a new mandrake root that Morgause had given to her that she was trying to hide behind her back.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," she snapped at him

"You're bleeding."

"I'm fine, really."

"You're wounded."

The guard stepped forward to open the servant's cloak and see to her wound when she took the opportunity to stab him, letting him fall over the wall before disappearing.

~XOX~

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Cenred asked from where he was seated on his throne.

"If you will not leave your castle, then I must come to you," Morgause informed him smartly.

"I see that you've lost none of your audacity," he snorted.

"I wish I could say the same. But I find the great King Cenred cowering in his chambers when he should've met me at the border. Perhaps he has lost his nerve. Perhaps he is a coward."

One of Cenred's men drew a sword getting the witch's attention. Morgause threw him backwards with a look. Cenred's other men drew their swords in response. Cenred held up a hand to stop them.

"You are very beautiful when you're angry."

"Is that why you continue to defy me?"

Cenred shrugged, "Well, you wouldn't like it if I made it easy for you."

Morgause laughed.

Cenred poured Morgause a drink and sat down across from her.

"I'm certain you've not come all this way just to drink, Morgause."

Morgause smiled over her cup at him, "You know me well."

"Extremely well. And yet, somehow, we're still close."

"I've come to talk to you about our old friend, Uther Pendragon. "

"Yes. I have heard the sad news. He's finally lost his mind."

"Camelot is weak, weaker than it's been for years. The kingdom is vulnerable, just as I promised."

"Yet it doesn't change the fact the citadel is still impregnable," the king pointed out.

"So, even without his wits, Uther is too strong for you."

"You're a woman of great courage, Morgause, but I don't think with my sword. An assault on Camelot cannot be undertaken lightly."

"You forget. We have an ally in the castle."

"That is no guarantee. Traitors blow like the wind."

"Not this one. She can be relied upon until the end. You can be certain of that."

~XOX~

"We've had reports that mercenaries are streaming into Cenred's kingdom," Arthur informed his father.

Merlin studied Uther while the King responded. It was very obvious that the previous night - whatever it might have been - had take a toll on the King. While his clothes looked pressed, Uther's overall appearance was still a bit rumpled. He had dark circles underneath his eyes and his skin was paler than normal.

"Do we know why?" Uther demanded, although his voice was lacking its usual commanding tone.

"There is rumour that Cenred is amassing an army. I think we should send a patrol out to assess the situation."

Uther stared at something past Arthur.

"Father?" the blonde asked hesitantly.

Arthur turned to see what his father's was staring at. The court looked back at Uther. Uther saw a small drowned boy standing in the council room, dripping water all over the floor. The King stood up and pointed at the boy.

"Leave me alone. Get out of here," he demanded.

"Father, will you..." Arthur stood slowly, uncertain as to what exactly as happening.

"I said get out! Get out! I'll have you hanged!"

Arthur and Sir Leon rushed forward and restrained Uther, dragging him from the room.

"You hanged! You...! You...!"

Merlin stared after his lover and the knight as they dragged the King from the room. He grabbed Gaius and ran after them. This situation was getting worse instead of better.

~XOX~

"There must be some explanation," Merlin said running out of ideas.

"During the great purge, Uther drowned many he suspected of sorcery. And some, God help them, were children, killed for the magic they were born with. Maybe his conscience is playing tricks with him. Whatever it is, we can no longer hide this. A king's hold on his people's a very fragile thing, Merlin. If they start to lose faith in him, I fear for Camelot."

A warning bell ran out prompting both to run out of the room to see what the commotion was about. Before they had taken more than a few steps, Leon appeared.

"You're needed at the drawbridge." The blonde knight sounded like he had sprinted the whole way.

Beneath the drawbridge, Gaius, Sir Leon, and Merlin leaned over the body of the guard the servant had stabbed.

"Take this man to my chambers. I need to speak to Arthur as a matter of urgency," Gaius instructed Leon before he and Merlin set off to find the Crown Prince.

~XOX~

Arthur was found in the Council chambers. He face was tight with worry and all Merlin wanted to do was hug and kiss the blonde but restrained himself. They were in public and nobody could find out about their relationship.

"The sentry must've been attacked at some point during the night," Gaius informed Arthur.

"Who could've done this?"

Gaius handed Arthur the dagger that had been used to stab the guard.

"That is a sigil of the Bloodguard."

"The Bloodguard?" Arthur asked, not recognising the group. Merlin also frowned in confusion. Gaius hadn't said anything about them.

"Warrior priests sworn to protect the high priestesses of the Old Religion."

"Surely they were wiped out during the Great Purge."

Gaius shook his head. "Not all of them."

"So you believe there is a traitor in Camelot."

"It is possible, Sire. The sentry will be able to tell us soon enough."

"He's still alive?" Arthur was astounded.

"Indeed," Gaius nodded gravely before excusing himself to see to his patient.

Arthur turned and silently beckoned Merlin to follow him to the small room off the Council chambers. Once the door was closed and locked the blonde pulled his lover into his arms. Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur in turn. He could feel the tension vibrating through the Crown Prince's body.

"I don't know what to do, Merlin," Arthur murmured into the skin of his neck. He wouldn't have admitted that to anyone before but with the change in their relationship, the blonde felt that if he couldn't trust his lover he really was screwed.

Merlin took a deep breath and let it out before speaking. "We are going to take this one thing at a time. We can't do anything for your father. That's something that Gaius will have to work on. Maybe find someone who would be will to help him out with whatever he needs."

Arthur nodded thoughtfully. "I'll also post four guards on his chambers in case they need anything or someone tries their luck when he's... _vulnerable_."

"Next are the mercenaries and the Bloodguard. Do you think that they could be related?"

Arthur took a few moments to really think Merlin's question through. It would be a major coincidence if the two weren't related in some way. Far rather be prepared and paranoid than caught unaware. "Probably."

Arthur looked Merlin straight in the eye and murmured a "Thank you" before leaning forward to first place a gentle kiss on the raven haired man's forehead and then another on his lips. The blonde pulled away, stood straight and walked out the room. He threw a tiny smile over his shoulder and called out "Coming Merlin?"

A devilish smirk spread across Merlin's face. "Always Sire."

~XOX~

Hearing the news of his survival the servant snuck in and poisoned the guard, just escaping as Merlin and Gaius returned while Arthur was preparing the knights and guards for a possible attack.

Merlin checked on the guard and was shocked to find no pulse.

"Gaius. You said he was recovering. He's dead."

"I thought he was," Gaius was equally shocked and it showed on his face

"Then what happened? You don't think it's strange?"

"Very," the physician muttered gravely.

~XOX~

Merlin placed a potion bottle from Gaius on Uther's bureau and pulled up Uther's blankets. He heard a strange noise and looked down to see some muddy goo on the clean floor. A servant came into the room and Merlin slipped under the bed, bumping into the mandrake root hanging from the base of the bed. The servant pulled off the root without looking down at him and left. After a moment's indecision, Merlin decided to follow the servant through the lower town and into the woods where she waited a few minutes before a more recognisable figure appeared from the trees.

"Sorry you had to wait. There was much to discuss."

"But your visit was successful?" the servant was eager to know.

"Cenred's army ride for Camelot on my command."

"There is nothing you cannot do."

"How goes the battle for Uther's mind?"

"When Cenred marches on Camelot, he will find a kingdom without a leader," she replied absolutely giddy.

"Finally we are ready."

"Not quite. Merlin will be getting suspicious."

Merlin froze even more upon actually hearing his name being mentioned by Morgause and the unidentifiable servant girl.

"Has he told Arthur?"

"Not yet, but he will."

"Well, then we must stop him."

"That will not be difficult."

"Why?" she asked, confused at Morgause's strange answer.

"Because he's already here."

Hearing Morgause's statement sent a spike of fear through Merlin. he shot up from his hiding place amongst the bushes and silently cursed himself for not telling anyone, especially Arthur where he was or what was going on.

"Did you really think I was that stupid, Merlin?" Morgause asked with a sneer in her voice.

The young warlock attempted to make a run for it. He needed to tell Arthur all that he had overheard but luck was not on his side. He was chased and captured by the Bloodguard quickly and brought before Morgause.

~XOX~

Gauis went to Arthur's chambers to check on the young prince. It had to be stressful for the blonde to deal with so many things happening all at once.

"How are you, Sire?"

"It's not me who's sick."

"It can't be easy to see your father this way."

"No. He's always been so strong. He lifted his kingdom from its knees, Gaius. To see him now..." Arthur shook his head.

"I am sure that, over time, he will recover. But until then, we have to make plans, Arthur. We need you to assume control."

"That's ridiculous" Arthur scoffed.

"Camelot needs a leader. It falls to you. You must fulfil your role as regent. This is not just me talking. Members of the court have spoken," Gaius insisted.

"So now you've taken to whispering behind my back. What kind of treason is this?"

"It's for the good of the kingdom."

"I'm not going to usurp my father," the blonde argued. He didn't feel near ready for the responsibilities that would come with it.

"We are not asking you to, Sire; but the palace is awash with rumours. The people are restless."

"I swore allegiance to my King, and as long as there is breath in his body, it is my duty to uphold that."

"Arthur, please."

"You are giving up on my father. That is something I will never do," Arthur stated stalking off to find his lover who seemed to have disappeared.

~XOX~

Morgause looked at the young man bound in chains before her, "You intrigue me, Merlin. Why does a lowly servant continue to risk everything for Arthur and for Camelot? You know the answer, but you're not telling me. Why? Come on. Time and again you put your life on the line. There must be a reason."

"I believe in a fair and just land," Merlin answered her passionately thinking about his lover and future King.

"And you think Arthur will give you that?" she asked disbelieving.

"I know it."

"And then what? You think you'll be recognised, Merlin? Is that it? All this so, one day, you can be a serving boy to the King? No. There's something more. Something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

"I told you."

"Well, you can take your secret to your grave. _Weorc untoworpenlic!"_

Merlin's chains glowed and tightened from the magical binding.

"You chose to poison one of my own. You will regret that."

~XOX~

Arthur had searched all over the castle for Merlin but had found no trace of him.

"When I'm looking for him, he's nowhere to be found. It just figures," the blonde muttered under his breath. He wouldn't admit to himself that he was beginning to worry. He just needed to know that with everything going on Merlin was safe and wasn't about to do anything rash or foolish.

"Sire," Leon called out, drawing his attention.

Arthur sighed. It looked like he was going to have to search for his wayward lover later.

~XOX~

In the woods, Merlin attempted to free himself. He had to warn Arthur. He also didn't particularly feel like dying.

"_Abric benda."_

When nothing happened, Merlin tried again more forcefully. "_Abric benda!"_

Maybe it was the spell, maybe another one was needed. "_Iern fæst nunga onlucan me!_"

The young warlock's spells failed, making him panic as he heard the serkets approaching from the trees and shadows. The only light provided by the moon overhead.

~XOX~

Arthur came across Gwen in one of the passageways and stopped her. He really was beginning to worry about Merlin. he still hadn't seen or heard from the raven haired man in quite some time now.

"Have you seen Merlin?"

"Not since yesterday," she replied confused, "Is there a problem?"

"I'm not sure," Arthur said shaking his head before moving on.

Gwen made her way to Morgana's chambers after bumping in the Crown Prince. Morgana looked up and noticed the frown on her maid's face. "Is anything the matter Gwen?"

"Arthur was just looking for Merlin. He seems so worried and stressed." Gwen shook her head. "Never mind. It's probably nothing.

Morgana stood and made for the door. "I think I'll see if I can find Arthur anyway."

~XOX~

Giving up on the search for Merlin Arthur headed for Uther's Chambers, to sit by his father's bedside. Morgana entered after some time and hesitated a moment before approaching the bed.

"I need him to get better," Arthur murmured just loud enough for Morgana to hear.

"I know," Morgana said giving Arthur a hug.

"I'm glad you're here."

"I'll make sure he's looked after, don't worry. I know you have a lot to deal with."

~XOX~

_"Min strang miht hate þe tospringan!" _Merlin tried one last time to free himself before turning to fend off the serkets that were surrounding him, moving in for the attack.

_"Awendaþ eft wansæliga neat!"_

_"Forlætan me a...!"_

Merlin's spells fended off a couple of the serkets, but then one stabbed him in the back, making the brunette throw off the serket that stabbed him as pain rapidly spread through his body. The poison was fast actiing, something which did not bode well for him.

In desperation, he called to the dragon hoping that Kilgharrah wasn't too far away, _"Dracan, eom, ala, sece findan metan, teosu hus anbid!"_

~XOX~

In the country side, Cenred was leading his army in the direction of Camelot. He hoped that Morgause knew what she was doing or being an ally of hers would get costly and dangerous quickily

~XOX~

Morgause was watching Cenred's army from her crystal. Everything was going according to her plan and she couldn't have been happier. Finally, she almost had all that she wanted.

~XOX~

The serkets continued to approach Merlin but then The Great Dragon arrived having heard Merlin's call and roasted a few of them before picking the young warlock up. Merlin lost consciousness from the poison in the sting as it continued to spread while the Dragon flew off with him clutched between his talons. His last thought was of Arthur and how worried the blonde must be by now.

~XOX~

Arthur stood in his chambers and stared blankly out the window. He hadn't been able to find Merlin anywhere. He had no idea where else he could search and with everything that was currently going on, he couldn't take off to search for one servant. Even if said servant meant more to him than anything. Feeling desperate and restless, Arthur went off to go over the plans again. He wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon and it would give him something to occupy his mind.


	6. Chapter 6-The Tears of Uther Pendragon 2

**Title: **If You Only Knew 6/?  
**Author: theblackrose16**

**Beta: elsa_kallan**

**Summary:** Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

**Pairings/Characters:** Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gaius, Morgause, Kilgharrah

**Genre:** slash | Semi-Cannon

**Warnings:** language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg  
**Rating:** NC–17  
**Word Count:** 5, 048

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

XOX

**Chapter Six**

**The Tears Of Uther Pendragon Part Two**

Slowly, consciousness began to return to Merlin. He blearily blinked, dazedly looking around until his eyes met those of Kilgharrah's

"I didn't think you'd answer my call," he muttered as he gingerly sat up.

"Merlin, I could not resist a dragonlord, even if I wanted to," he reminded the young warlock sternly.

Merlin blushed and tugged at the bottom of his ratty shirt, "I'm grateful, thank you."

"Lie back down," the dragon instructed him upon seeing him wince.

"Ow, that hurts," Merlin commented, gently laying back down.

"The serket's poison is powerful. I have given you an enchantment that will help you heal, but it will take time."

"I need to get back to Arthur," Merlin protested

"You need to regain your strength. You will be no use to the young Pendragon if you collapse again," Kilgharrah pointed out.

~XOX~

Arthur was beginning to become frantic. It wasn't like Merlin to just simply up and disappear at least without some sort of warning.

"Where is that half-wit?" he asked as he swooped into Gaius's chambers, trying to hide how worried he was.

Startled at the intrusion, Gaius looked up slightly confused, "Merlin?"

"I've got no socks, no breeches, and an archery session to go to. Merlin!"

Gaius shook his head at the prince, "I thought he was with you, Sire."

Arthur frowned at the older man, "Don't try and cover for him."

"He didn't come home last night, I can't find him."

Arthur tried to hide his growing panic. Merlin hadn't come to his bed either. It wasn't like he had numerous places to sleep.

"When you do, you can tell him he's the target," he said over his shoulder as he walked back out the room. He would enlist Morgana and Gwen's helping in tracking Merlin down.

~XOX~

This time, when Merlin awoke, his head was a lot clearer as the memories of the last few days came rushing back.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep."

Kilgharrah looked down on him, "I had no choice, young warlock. The venom was too strong, even for your great powers."

Merlin stood up in a hurry, "I don't have time. I need to get back to Camelot. The kingdom is in danger and...it's my fault. I should've listened to you. Should never have trusted Morgause or any other servant. Arthur is in danger from so many different people."

"You did what you felt was right, and that shows great courage. But trust is a double edged sword."

Merlin swallowed in remorse, "I thought...because she has magic, I thought we were the same. Besides Morgana, I'd don't really have someone to talk to. Gaius is all well and good but his experiences influence his actions and opinions."

Kilgharrah nodded in understanding. "In some ways you are."

Merlin shook his head in denial, "No. I will never be like her."

"You have learnt an important lesson, Merlin. Your determination to see goodness in people will be your undoing. But I fear that your futures are now joined forever. She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love."

The young warlock gazed at the Great Dragon imploringly, "I need to get back to Camelot."

Kilgharrah tried to object. "You're not yet fully recovered, Merlin, and it's more than three days' walk."

Merlin smirked as an idea occurred to him.

"I've no intention of walking."

~XOX~

The feeling of flying with the wind blowing vigorously through his hair was one Merlin was sure he would never forget.

"Woo! Whoa. Ha-ha! Woo!"

They landed in the clearing near Camelot, surrounded by trees hiding them from prying eyes.

Kilgharrah watched the young warlock slide to the ground.

"This is as far as I go."

Merlin positively beamed up at him, "Thank you. I won't forget this."

"Be careful, young warlock. The great battle for Camelot has begun. You must be strong. For Arthur's destiny and the future of Albion lie in your hands."

"I know. I just have to figure out what I'm going to tell Arthur," Merlin muttered.

~XOX~

Merlin raced through Camelot to Gaius's Chambers. Spotting his guardian, Merlin shook Gaius awake.

"You need to wake up," he whispered into the sleeping older man's ear.

Gaius jerked awake, "Merlin! Where have you been?"

His young charge shook his head.

"I don't have time to explain."

"Are you alright?"

"There's a servant girl here that's in league with Morgause; she's plotting against Uther."

Gaius was completely awake now, "What?"

Merlin tugged on Gaius's hand to get him moving as he spoke, "She's responsible for his visions. Come on, hurry up. There's something I need to show you."

He would find Arthur once the King was sorted out.

~XOX~

Uther was crouched in a corner when Merlin and Gaius ran into the room.

Gaius ran over to the King, "Uther? Uther!"

Merlin rushed to the bed, removed the mandrake root, and threw it in the fireplace as fast as he possibly could. The root screamed, a horribly wailing shriek as it died.

Gaius was murmuring into Uther's ear, "It was an enchantment, Sire. You need to rest."

With Merlin's help, Gaius managed to get the king into his bed and to drink a glass of water.

~XOX~

As they were walking back to the physician's chambers, Gaius asked something that had been on his mind since Merlin had returned.

"You never saw who it was?"

Merlin shook his head helplessly.

Gaius nodded his head thoughtfully.

"We're going to have to be extra vigilant."

~XOX~

Morgause watched over Cenred's army in a crystal as they march through a valley on towards Camelot. It was about time that she joined them.

~XOX~

Some knights of Camelot watched Cenred's army marching towards them from a hill and then rode off through the woods to warm Arthur of the impending threat. They had been warned that this was coming and were prepared.

~XOX~

Merlin cautiously opened the door into Arthur's rooms. Normally, he could hope that Arthur hadn't really noticed his disappearance too much but with the change in their relationship the chance of that was slim to none. However, he was shocked by the mess that was the Prince's chambers.

"What happened?!" he demanded before he could think better of it.

Arthur spun around upon hearing his voice to look incredulously at him.

"What happened? I've had to make do without a servant, that's what's happened. Add to that the fact that my lover disappeared without so much as a by-your-leave, I think I did pretty well given the circumstances."

Merlin smiled guiltily, "I wasn't gone for that long."

"Where've you been?" the blonde demanded as he took two steps closer to the brunette.

Merlin shrugged nonchalantly, "I was dying."

"Don't joke, Merlin." Arthur spoke quietly as he walked forward to within touching distance of the young man.

Merlin lifted his hands, ran them up Arthur's chest and over his shoulders, stopping when his hands were clasped behind the young Prince's neck.

"You've not had your breakfast this morning, have you?" he whispered standing even closer.

Despite his anger and worry for Merlin, Arthur couldn't help smiling. As he lowered his head, he whispered, "I'll have you for breakfast!" against Merlin's lips before capturing them in a kiss.

He would find out what had happened to Merlin later. Right now he wanted to assure himself that his lover was back and in one piece.

~XOX~

Morgana gazed out her window, watching as Merlin and Arthur walked across the courtyard, shoulders occasionally brushing as they moved. A small smile graced her lips as she took in the scene. It appeared that Arthur had been able to find Merlin without her or Gwen's help.

"May I clear away the dishes, My Lady?" Gwen asked from behind her, startling her out of her thoughts.

"Morgana?"

Morgana turned to look at her friend, moving away from the window. "I was thinking about what to wear. I must dress."

~XOX~

"I estimate they will reach the city within two days," Leon reported to the Crown Prince. It was not the kind of news that he wanted to report to the blonde currently in charge of the kingdom.

Arthur frowned, "Under whose banner do they march?"

"Cenred's, Sire. We knew he was amassing an army..."

"How many men?"

Leon winced as he answered, "20,000 maybe more."

The already dark, sombre mood lowered even more at Leon's announcement.

Gaius sighed before speaking, "I fear that news of the king's illness has spread beyond our borders. Cenred sees an opportunity."

Leon replied, "Then we must find a way to appease him."

Arthur was already shaking his head, "Not what my father would do, he wouldn't bow to our enemies."

Gaius spoke hesitantly, "Forgive me, Sire, we are outnumbered two to one."

Arthur turned to look out the window as he spoke, "What concessions will Cenred insist on? What territories will he demand?"

"We do not have to give him anything, but it could buy us valuable time," Gaius suggested.

It was Arthur's turn to disagree, "It shows weakness, Gaius. There's only one course of action open to us."

He turned and sat down on the throne usually reserved for his father.

"We must prepare the city for siege."

Leon looked up at him, "Are you sure that is wise?"

Arthur nodded slowly in thought, "The castle is our strongest weapon. No army has ever taken Camelot."

"But what about the people in the outlying villages?"

"Give them refuge within the city walls."

"And what of their houses, their livelihoods? Cenred will destroy everything in his path," Leon argued.

"But they will have their lives. Go. Ready the army," Arthur dismissed him and walked off with his silent lover beside him, wordlessly lending his support.

~XOX~

Once they were alone, Merlin spoke, "You did well in there. I mean it. I was impressed. We're talking siege engines, and battering rams, and catapults. You made a tough decision whe...you're risking hundreds of..."

Arthur sighed, "Do you know what?"

"What?"

"I'd really prefer it if you just kept quiet in these situations," he replied.

He just wanted a few moments to think without all the pressure coming down on him.

"I am just trying to help."

The blonde turned his head to look at the brunette and sighed tiredly, "I know. Sorry."

Merlin lightly brushed against Arthur's hand in sympathy, "I know you don't mean it; you're just worried. But you don't need to be. Look what we've got."

Curious now, Arthur responded, "What?"

"You and...me."

Arthur almost laughed, "Merlin, what exactly are you going to do?"

"I'm going to be at your side, like I always am, protecting you," Merlin replied solemnly.

The blonde gave up, "God help me," he murmured against Merlin's lip before kissing him. His lover's response was instantaneous. Merlin's hand found purchase on Arthur's hips as he returned the kiss.

"We'll be ok," Merlin whispered reassuringly.

"I hope so Merlin," Arthur sighed.

~XOX~

"My dear Morgause," Cenred greeted the witch as she approached him on horseback.

"Cenred," was her curtly reply.

"My army shall be here by nightfall."

Morgause smiled at the thought. She was so close to her goal now. She would have revenge against the Pendragons as well as her sister for betraying her.

"I'm glad that pleases you," the King continued upon seeing her smile.

"I'll wait and see if you deliver before I say that I am pleased."

"And when I do?"

Morgause turned to smirk at him, "Then I will give you a feast that you will never forget."

~XOX~

"Where have you been?" Morgause demanded of the servant the second she arrived.

Ignoring the question, the servant was quick to get down to the crux of her problem, "It's Merlin. He's alive. He's back in Camelot. He has thwarted us. He destroyed the mandrake root. Your enchantment's been broken."

Morgause took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking, "Do not worry. The root has already done its work, and Cenred's army are less than a day from the city."

Suddenly, the girl looked eager, "Then it is time?"

"Are you ready? Cenred's army are mighty, but they cannot bring down the city on their own. You, too, must play your part."

"Tell me what I must do," she replied immediately.

Morgause held out a staff for her.

"It's carved from the Rowen tree that grows at the very heart of the Isle of the Blessed. Only the high priestesses and their Bloodguard have ever set eyes on it," the blonde witch explained to her servant.

"I do not have the magic to wield such an instrument."

Morgause smiled at the girl's bent head, "Do not worry. The staff will guide you. It carries its own power."

"I will not fail you."

"I know," Morgause grinned, knowing that the girl wouldn't dare cross her.

~XOX~

Merlin was dragging bags of supplies up the steps when the Prince found him again.

"Merlin, where have you been? I've been calling for you."

Merlin looked up from his task to the blonde, "Gathering provisions. Twenty-five salted cod, fifteen dried capers, and one smoked boar."

Arthur gazed at the brunette, utterly perplexed, "What on earth for?"

Merlin's reply was simply, implying that Arthur should have figured it out by himself, "We're preparing for a siege."

"Yes, not a banquet."

Merlin grinned at his lover with his hands on his hips, "You know what you're like without food. We could be trapped in here for weeks, months, even. Look what I've got for your breakfast. Your favourite. Pickled eggs."

Checking that no one was around, he gave Arthur a quick peck on the lips before continuing to drag the bags down the hallway with Arthur watching him. The blonde merely shook his head at Merlin's antics. Some days, he really did not understand his lover.

~XOX~

Arthur watched the people bustling around, "Has everyone from the outlying villages been given shelter?"

Leon replied, watching the activities too, "As best we can, Sire. They amount to almost 9,000 so far, but they're still coming."

Arthur grimaced, "How long will our provisions last?"

"Depends, Sire, on what losses we sustain," Leon replied.

Arthur was quite. He hated the thought that they were going to lose people before this was over.

"Cenred?" he asked, needing to know.

"Our scouts report he'll be upon us a matter of hours."

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment to gather his strength. Leon gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

"We're all behind you, Sire. The people love you and trust you."

"We're about to find out if that's a wise choice."

~XOX~

Merlin was helping Arthur put on his armour. He pulled a little too tightly on the vambrace strap in his nervousness.

"Sorry," he whispered.

Arthur gazed at the bent brunette head in front of him, "It's not like you to get nervous, is it, Merlin?"

"I'm not nervous," he assured his lover, looking up at him.

Arthur was intrigued by his response, "No?"

Merlin stared straight into his eyes when he answered, "Because I trust in your destiny."

"Have you been in the cider?"

Finishing with the armour, Merlin placed his hands on the Crown Prince's shoulders.

"It is your fate to be the greatest king Camelot has ever known. Your victory today will be remembered...by every age...'til the end of time. Just trust in yourself."

Arthur was shocked.

"There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of...I don't know what it is. I don't want to say...it's not wisdom. But, yes. That's what it is."

Merlin smiled.

Arthur chuckled, "Don't look so pleased. The rest of the time you're a complete idiot."

Breathing deeply, he placed his hands on the brunette's waist, gaining his full attention once more.

"Promise me, you'll be careful. No idiotic ideas."

Merlin stared right back at his lover, wrapping his arms around the blonde's neck.

"As long as you promise me that you'll do the same. That when this is all over, you'll be here with me in this room again, safe and alive."

Arthur reached up and stroked his thumb along Merlin's pale cheekbone. Moving forward he captured his soft lips in a gentle kiss. One full of hope and promise before pulling away.

"Time's up. We have to go."

~XOX~

Morgana sat in her chambers with Gwen. The pair werewatching the soldiers marching out to meet the enemy. She desperately wished that she knew the outcome of this battle. It was shocking but she would give nearly anything to actually have a dream if only to know that all those close to her would make it out of this alive. The Seer hated feeling so useless.

At least earlier she'd been able to send Gwen with her favourite ribbon as a good luck charm for Leon to hold onto in the upcoming battle. She desperately hoped that it served as a reminder that he had the hope of something to fight for and come back to.

~XOX~

Arthur greeted his rallied troops and raised his sword high in the air.

"For the love of Camelot!" he shouted.

"For the love of Camelot!" the knights echoed.

Arthur led them out. Other soldiers stayed behind to prepare barricades in the lower town to protect the people. He and Merlin had split up since they were needed in different directions and Arthur could only hope that his lover would remain safe.

~XOX~

Cenred and Morgause were mounted near the forest with their guards as they watched his troops prepare the trebuchets.

"Fire!" Cenred ordered when they were ready.

The trebuchets launched flaming material and Cenred's troops advanced on the city. The battle beginning.

~XOX~

Cenred's army broke through the gate and advanced towards the barricade. Arthur and his knights tried to fend them off. Uther, having woken up, descended the steps into the Square dressed in his armour. He drew his sword and ran across the drawbridge.

"Hold the line!" Leon shouted before catching sight of Uther. "You need to go back, Sire."

Uther ignored him and pushed forward to reach the front lines.

~XOX~

Merlin was helping Gaius when he began sensing something off.

"Something doesn't feel right. I need to get back to Arthur," he told Gaius before running off.

Morgana, having seen him run off, decided to follow him. She too could sense something wasn't right and her best guess would be something to do with magic.

~XOX~

A fireball landed in the square and knocked Merlin to the ground. Morgana ran forward and pulled him back to hide behind some debris, giving them some cover.

Cenred's men used ladders to climb the battlements, Camelot's army moved forward to defend it.

Cenred and Morgause continued to watch from the woods, awaiting the time when the city would fall

.  
~XOX~

Uther finally reached the front line and began to immediately attack. Arthur caught sight of him mid thrust.

"Father!"

Arthur pushed his way to Uther and dragged him away from the front line, concerned for his health and safety.

Uther rounded on him, angry, "What are you doing?"

"You're not well," Arthur argued.

"This is my kingdom!"

Suddenly and out of nowhere, Uther was hit by a lone, stray arrow and collapsed into Arthur's shocked arms. Arthur turned and looked back at the overwhelmed barricade.

"Pull back! Retreat!" he shouted his order to be heard over the clanging of metal.

Merlin arrived as the knights began their retreat and Cenred's men launched themselves over the barricade in full force.

_"Forbærnen," _he whispered under his breath.

Merlin's spell sent up a wall of fire to block the enemy from advancing and allowed Camelot's troops time to retreat. Having helped them, he turned and ran back to where he left Morgana awaiting him in the courtyard.

~XOX~

Arthur helped his father to the well - the very one where Uther had had his first hallucination.

Uther waved him off, "You must get back to the battle, we're losing the lower town."

Arthur shook his head, "It's already lost, Father."

"And the citadel?"

"Safe for now," Arthur was quick to reassure him while partially holding his father upright.

"It must stay that way."

"You have to trust me, Father. I know what I'm doing," Arthur implored him over the sounds of the battle raging all around them.

Arthur bent and pulled the arrow out of Uther's leg.

"You must rest. When you're well again, you will still have a kingdom, I promise you that."

~XOX~

Merlin reached Morgan just as they both felt a jolt of magic.

"Merlin, did you feel that?"

"Yeah," he replied as he sent his magic out searching for the source.

"What was it?" Morgana asked panicked.

"It came from underneath us," Merlin replied, grabbing her hand and tugging her in the direction that the magic had come from.

~XOX~

Morgause sat on her horse and breathed in the power of the Rowan staff.

Cenred shifted in his saddle, impatient, "Enough of your games, Morgause. What has happened to your traitor?"

"For such a great king, you have very little patience."

Cenred snapped, "The time for patience is over!"

Morgause turned to him with a knowing smirk, "You need not worry much longer. No army can fight on two fronts. Not even the knights of Camelot."

~XOX~

The servant girl stood and watched as the Rowan staff shot energy beams at the tombs around her. Grinning in delight at the display of power. She continued watching as skeletons burst forth and marched out and away to attack Camelot's already stretched thin army.

Soon she would have everything that Morgause had promised her.

~XOX~

Arthur was helping a wounded soldier to the infirmary when he noticed something wrong. He turned to see an army of skeletons behind him. The Prince moved to fight one and managed to stab it. The skeleton merely shrugged and kept on fighting. A knight rushed forward to take on the skeleton while Arthur slashed at another one. They were already struggling against Cenred's army. How were they going to fight two battles at the same time? Arthur worried.

~XOX~

"Merlin, where are we going?" Morgana hissed from where she was following behind him.

The sounds of the battle had somewhat dimmed as they made their way deeper into the castle. The stone and marble blocking out the sound.

"I think it came from the burial vaults," he whispered back, careful not to alert whoever was behind the magic to their presence.

~XOX~

Camelot soldiers defended against Cenred's army barely managing to hold their own. Sir Leon moved back from the front line and turned to see the skeleton army crossing the drawbridge towards him. He froze for a second in shock before pulling himself together.

"On me!" he shouted to the surrounding soldiers.

They were hopelessly outnumbered now but they would all die defending Camelot.

~XOX~

"We can't fight a battle on two fronts," Arthur spoke, exhausted and worried.

"Keep still," Gwen muttered as she bandaged Arthur's hand. He winced.

"I don't know how much longer we can hold the citadel. We need to get my father to safety and I can't find Merlin anywhere."

"How? We no longer control the lower town. There's no escape, Arthur," Gaius informed him morosely.

~XOX~

Merlin and Morgana entered the vaults cautiously.

It appeared to be empty but for the glowing staff in the middle of the ground.

"Now what are we going to do?" Morgana asked her companion quietly.

Merlin walked behind a pillar and surveyed the Rowan staff before coming to a decision.

"It's very powerful magic, Morgana. We have to destroy it." Merlin asked turning to the stare at the young woman.

~XOX~

Sir Leon and other soldiers continued to fight between Cenred's army and the skeleton army. Their forces stretched thin and energy waning fast. The soldiers morale was at a low point with no hope of winning in sight. As he was loosing his strength, Leon caught sight of the ribbon tied around his wrist. Thinking of Morgana, gave him renewed strength to fight. He had to live through this and he had to make sure that no enemy got past him and went near her.

~XOX~

"You can trust me but Merlin, if its powerful magic we're going to need powerful magic to destroy it. Where are we going to find that? I don't know about you but I'm hardly trained."

"I can do it," Merlin told her solemnly.

~XOX~

Sir Leon and soldiers continued fighting completely out numbered and slowly loosing. It was a nightmare come to life for all those fighting and appeared to be never ending.

~XOX~

Morgana looked at him only slightly surprised.

"I thought so but we can get into it later. Just do something."

_"Feoll bu brand! Snides._" Merlin chanted, racing forwards, a sword gripped tight in his hand.

Merlin sliced through the staff with the sword, destroying it and releasing a burst of magical energy.

~XOX~

The skeleton that Arthur was fighting crumbled. The skeleton that another knight beside him was fighting also crumbled to dust. Giving them their first piece of hope.

~XOX~

The skeleton Sir Leon was fighting crumbled. He turned and rejoined the fight against Cenred's army. The knights of Camelot managed to push the fight past the training grounds gate now that they weren't fighting on two fronts.

~XOX~

"Your traitor has failed us just as I knew they would. I'm calling off the siege," Cenred hissed.

Morgause was angry, "You can't!"

"I cannot take the city unaided. That was not our bargain!"

"You have failed me, Cenred."

Cenred sneered at her, "I would rather fail you, Morgause, then watch thousands of men die."

~XOX~

Merlin turned to Morgana as they exited the burial vaults.

"What are we going to tell everyone?"

Morgana looked at the young man beside her.

"We saw someone go into the burial vaults so we followed them. Saw them cast a spell with the staff and when they left, you took a sword and cut it in half. That's all they need to know. Nobody needs to know about the magic, that can stay between us."

"Thanks, Morgana," Merlin said, already inching towards the stairs.

Morgana chuckled softly.

"Go. Find Arthur. But we need to talk later, Merlin."

~XOX~

Arthur had just finished taking off his armour when Merlin pulled the door open and walked in.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Merlin was all but running across the room to reach the blonde.

Arthur caught him as he launched himself at the Prince. Merlin relaxed slightly as warm, strong arms wrapped around his waist.

"You're ok," he breathed.

Staring at into each other's eyes they suddenly became desperate.

Arthur yanked Merlin closer, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss. Merlin slid his hands up and tugged Arthur's jacket off, needing to feel skin and a heartbeat to prove to himself that they both were ok.

Breaking the kiss, the blonde pulled Merlin's shirt up and off over his head before grabbing him and kiss him along his neck, breathing in his scent.

"Arthur," Merlin moaned.

Hands roamed, exploring every piece of skin presented until it was too much. The prince pulled away for air before quickly resuming kissing the brunette.

Impatient, Merlin's hands traced Arthur's back, muscles flexing at the contact, resting briefly on his waist and then continuing. His right hand moved between their bodies and with sure fingers, plucked the strings on the blonde's pants.

Arthur groaned as Merlin slid his hand inside and cupped him. Almost roughly he stripped what little clothing he still had on before removing his lover's garments. Biting his lips in desire at the pale skin exposed to him, the blonde grabbed the young man, lifted him and carried him over to the bed.

Merlin fell back onto the soft covers, pulling the Prince down with him.

The feeling of skin on skin contact was even more erotic causing both young men to groan in pleasure.

Arthur settled between Merlin's spread thighs and looked down into the blue eyes watching him. A hand reached up to brush away a few errant blonde locks from his face. Arthur smiled down at him and leaned down to kiss him, tongue tracing his bottom lip seeking entrance and surging in when granted.

There would be time for gentle and long explorations later but for now the pair was too desperate to touch each other to be able to last very long. A positively wicked smile graced Arthur's pink lips as; with one hand he reached out blindly and grabbed the small vial of oil on his nightstand.

He poured a generous amount on his fingers before moving them down to wrap around Merlin's cock. Sure fingers ran up and down from root to tip. Merlin tugged on blonde hair pulling the prince down for another passionate kiss.

Arthur grabbed more oil, slicked himself up and moved to settle better between the brunette's legs. Merlin wrapped his legs around the blonde's waist granting him more space to move.

Arthur wrapped his hand around both of their erections together creating a fist. The tight heat and mini explosive sensations coursing through the young lovers resulted in them both moaning aloud at the feelings bombarding them.

The pair rocked against each other as the kissed. Arthur's tongue ran along Merlin's lower lip before running along his palette. Soon the couple were caught up in a fast, passionate rhythm. Their panting breaths echoing around the room along with moans and the sounds of flesh moving along flesh.

All too soon Merlin felt his climax building up.

"Arthur…oh…I'm…ah…gonna…"

Three more thrusts and stars danced behind their eyes as they both came harder than they ever had before in their lives.

The blonde gently released their now softening cocks and flopped down on the mattress beside his lover, tugging until Merlin was lying with his ear pressed above Arthur's heart and a leg through over his thighs.

Sleep crept up upon the now exhausted pair and they drifted off, safe in each other's arms. Worries and aftermath left to be dealt with in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7 - Secrets and Lies

**Truth Set Free**

It had been two weeks since the attack on Camelot and the aftermath was still taking its toll on the people. The people were all able to return to their respective villages and everyone was chipping in with the repairs. Once the fires had been put out and the smoke had cleared, they had been able to see that the damage wasn't as extensive as they had first feared. In no time at all, things were relatively back to normal. Or mostly, at least.

On the surface, Merlin and Arthur's relationship didn't appear to have changed. Those who were close to them though could detect a shift in their relationship. They were more at ease with each other than they had ever been. At times, it appeared almost as if they were having silent conversations conveyed by a look or a touch.

It didn't make Merlin any less Arthur's manservant. Although over the last two weeks Arthur had stopped giving him an outrageous amount of work to do. Instead he tried to spread some of it over among other servants so that the two new young lovers were able to spend their evenings together. The young warlock had also moved out of Gaius' chambers and into Arthur's bed. Everyone else in the castle thought that he had moved into the servant's room off Arthur's chambers, and they saw no reason to correct the assumption.

Merlin did still work for Gaius, which was why he currently found himself in the Hall of Records looking for some dusty old book the physician wanted.

He could have been doing something much better, namely sitting and watching Arthur train shirtless with the knights. Instead, he was surrounded by dusty books with only Geoffrey of Mormouth for company. Not that he was all that much company. He was seated behind his desk, piles of books and papers on the table, and every so often would scratch absently at his beard.

Sometimes his life just _sucked_.

The young, dark haired man bit his lip. He really didn't want to have to search through all the musty books. It would take him forever.

Dragging his feet, Merlin slowly made his way over to Geoffrey's desk. He stood and watched as the old man flipped through old, dusty, yellow pages of parchment.

"Yes?" he asked expectantly of Merlin.

Merlin gave him a nervous grin.

"Um… Gaius asked me to collect a book for him. The er...Bestiary of Phylum of Cambria?" Merlin checked the piece of parchment that Gaius ad written the name on to be sure that he had said it right.

Geoffrey raised his eyebrows and chuckled in recognition at the title.

"The bestiary? I've not seen that for many years. It'll be somewhere in the east wing. I've no idea where."

Merlin barely restrained himself from sighing in frustration. He was disappointed that he would indeed have to search through the shelves. The only bright side was that he wouldn't have to search through the entire library. Deciding that he may as well start, Merlin took off. He only managed a few steps when the sound of Geoffrey clearing his throat pointedly caught his attention.

"East is that way," he informed Merlin, amusement tingeing his voice as he pointed in the opposite direction of where Merlin had been going.

Merlin blushed in embarrassment as he hurried past the older man, going in the direction that had been pointed out to him. He walked down several rows looking for one that was dustier than the rest. It stood to reason that if the book hadn't been seen for a while it would have collected quiet a bit of dust. Eventually, he found a particular row that had more dust than those around it.

And of course as his luck would have it The Bestiary of Phylum of Cambria was right at the very top of the shelf. It looked like he would have no other choice than to climb the shelves in order to reach the book. The moment he put his foot on the lower section of the shelving though, the entire bookcase moved and turned around.

He was curious, but from past experience he knew that he needed to be cautious, Merlin began to explore the room. The items in the room were covered in even more dust than he'd seen before. Obviously, no one had been in this hidden room for quite some time.

Merlin was looking through a pile of books - the top one being a book of magic - when he heard an odd rattling noise coming from behind him. An octagonal box was lying on the ground. A few moments later the box rattled and moved. Merlin heard a voice from inside the box yell out "Oi".

The young warlock was puzzled. Normal boxes did not move or make a noise on their own. He crouched down to get a better look at the box and muttered, "_Unlucan scrin" _under his breath_._

The box's latch fell open. Curious, Merlin opened the lid and peered inside. A second later he jumped back in shock as a creature popped out of the box. It was green, had large pointy ears and tattoos. They stared at each other for a while before the creature spoke.

"So are you going to say something, or shall I?"

"You... you can speak?"Merlin stuttered slightly.

"You're a sharp one, aren't ya?" The... creature began to stretch, making clicking sounds as its joint popped. "Oh, I can't tell you how good it feels to do that... and that... and _this!_" Merlin could only stare at the strange looking creature. He was completely at a loss at what to do or say. He realized though that it was entirely possible that Geoffrey might hear them so he attempted to shush the creature but was ignored.

"I have been squished and swashed inside that box for more than _fifty years_... Time to have some fun!"

With that the creature jumped onto the nearby shelf and began tossing objects at the young warlock.

"Stop it, or you're going to get us both into serious trouble," Merlin pleaded with it.

The creature looked at Merlin and then deliberately pushed a vase off the shelf. It fell and shattered on the stone floor.

The creature cackled at the expression on Merlin's face. "Oh dear, what a shame, never mind."

Merlin's patience ran out at those words. "Right, that's it, you are going _back _in that box while I... work out what to do with you."

"Oh, alright... If I really must..." it sulked moving towards the box. The second Merlin moved forward to close the box, it jumped into the air and landed on his head laughing. "Ha ha! Fooled you!"

The creature disappeared from Merlin's view causing the warlock to begin panicking slightly.

"_Stop _messing around!"

The creature reappeared, rummaging around toss things that it didn't find interesting over its shoulder. Merlin grabbed a blanket and attempted to sneak up on it. Quickly, he threw the cloth over the creature, holding on tightly as he tried to wrestle it back into its box. Suddenly the body inside the blanket disappeared and a glowing ball of light appeared in the room instead.

Before Merlin could do anything, it squeezed through a crack and vanished, leaving Merlin gaping at the spot it disappeared in horror.

"No!"

Merlin quickly exited the secret room. Upon finding no evidence of the creature he grabbed the book Gaius had been looking for, nodded in thanks to Geoffrey and nearly ran from the Hall of Records.

**Author's Note:** Hi, everyone. I realise that it has been a long time since I updated but I am alive and well and back :D You can find the rest of this story which contains adult content on my website. The link can be found on my profile


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